the laboratory of the supermarket grocery store

[Deleted]

One of the things that nails me as being Nonbinary is Wal-Mart. As my core observes, as it always is, I watch how I react to men, women, clothes, food, how I interact, the jealousy, the certainty of knowing I am not of either sex, that I am different from all, yet, also the same as all, on some levels.

It confirms me as me, I was out buying clear nail polish, eyebrow tweasers though it'll be very subtle, eyeliner sharpener. Still adrenaline highed from watching fury road. Better social commentary there. Good movie.

I keep observing, learning. It's complicated. My boss said I wasn't what she thought trans was supposed to be. She was thinking about the car, I took a welder from the shop on a little sprint, 0 to 80 in what he said was 3 seconds. I told him to make sure he told his friend his fastest and wildest ride was from a transsexual. Over railroad tracks, the car likes to dance over those, it just flies.

I digress...it's fun, I can. But no, not what the boss expected. Wild, free, tear those roles apart.

I'm having fun, though dysphoria usually hits in department stores. Tonight, I just reminded myself I have what I want, body, freedom, sex, and a journey the family is going with me on.

Do you find department stores gender affirming? Does it give clarity?

How is that social experience for you?

Or am I just weird? Which would be fine anyway.


God I love the taste of freedom, and this is only the beginning, I'm not even really free that much. Or maybe I am. Maybe we all are, if we realize it. Grab hold of it. Be it.

Blessings

Trinity

[Laura Jane]

I miss your topics Trin, I always enjoy reading your words. 

I couldn't resist adding my 2 cents worth. 

I was at Walmart too today, and then Publix at lunchtime standing in a terrible long line just to get a deli sandwich made up.. Yeah, people look, so what.? 
I was as dolled up as I ever get, we just left church, my one day of the week to dress nicest, and let my true style through in public. 
I was in male garb, it's all I have right now, but with pink nails, really feminine baby blue charm bracelet, actually 2 of them, diamond earring, 
my (24/7) neckless of a trans emblem & a cross out on top of my black shirt, and my fave parfum.. 

I no longer worry at all about going in stores or other places being me, none of those things you mentioned are a part of my thoughts any longer.? 
If fact, I look forward to going out now, I actually am trying more and more to present more feminine, and proud of it.. 

At church today our pastor came over before service and talked just to me for a while, asked me how things were, mostly small talk.. LOL, I never shyed
away for a second, and about pushed my trans emblem in his face if he didn't already notice it. Kinda hard to miss, especially for a pastor.. 

I've learned that transition isn't about being female in a males body, thats wrong.. It's being male and female in a male body, and as the male part slowly sheers away 
and shrinks, the female part rises up, becomes more confident, and starts taking over, which I feel a lot now, and it's awesome.. 

I don't honestly care what anyone thinks anymore.? I'm transitioning at my own speed, in the way thats perfect for me.. 

And most important of all, I wake up every morning and offer my entire self to God, for his pleasure and delight, and promise to live for him in everything I do now,
and that is the most empowering experience I've yet had..! Because if God is for us, who can be against us.? I just chuckle at the people who don't get it, 
and wishe them well... 

[Deleted]

What a pleasure to have you guest in.

Come back dear, you are sorely missed.

And drop by for a big hug.

Trinity

[EchelonHunt]

That's wonderful, Laura. The world really opens up once one accepts and embraces themselves to the fullest.

It's like being a kid going on an adventure for the first time, exhilarating and the unknown can be scary but you never know unless you try!