Post by Metamorph on Dec 3, 2014 12:53:07 GMT 8
Welcome to the forum. We are really glad you are here. It will be wonderful getting to know you. You are new and that's hard. There's some things you should know.
Some of us have known each other, online and in real life, for long before this particular forum existed. We've been through the experience of not fitting in another place and creating this place. We've shared each others ups and downs. We have shared experiences and in-jokes. I hope that doesn't scare you. We want you to be here. We want to share in your ups and downs and create common memories. Your presence here matters. However, I will be honest, there are going to be times when you might feel left out or ignored. That's not our intent, it's just that we care deeply for each other. When you are new, it can be hard, but think about it as an opportunity. The more you post and spend time here, the more you will develop those same close bounds.
If you are new to forums, then you might also not understand the ebb and flow. Sometimes you can make a post and get very few responses. Make that exact same post, a few weeks later a whole wonderful conversation is sparked and there are tons of replies. Sometimes it really is just a matter of when you post. Sometimes you may make a really heartfelt post, full of emotion and get very few responses while a joking thread is getting a lot of attention. This is a support forum, but sometimes the support we need is to be with friends and laugh. I've felt bad about the lack of response to my posts before. I would guess that almost anyone who has spent a lot of time in forums has. If that happens to you, hang in there.
Another thing to remember is that this non-binary/trans stuff is a process and it's hard stuff. Everyone is on a different step of the journey. It may be all new to you, while some folks have had all sorts of experience and knowledge. The good news is that means there are people who are going to relate to what you are going through. Don't feel bad if it's all new and it seems like others have it all figured out. But I'll let you in on a secret, it's never all figured out. Life is a journey and that's why we all keep learning from each other. It can be easy when you are new, to not reply to anyone because you don't think you have anything to offer. Give it a try. Even if you feel you all you are saying is what's already been said, you may be the person to say it in the way the original poster can understand
Almost all of us have been hurt on this journey. That's one of the great things about having a support forum. Here you can feel safe and do some healing if you need to. There are very gracious, caring and wise people here. If you are having a tough time and making a post it might be good to think about what you need from it. I've seen people make a post, wanting sympathy and caring and only get advice. I've seen people who wanted advice who got a lot of cyberhugs. If you aren't getting what you need, it's ok to kindly say that. It can be hard to figure out how to reply.
Are you still reading? Wow. Ok, one other thing to keep in mind. This is a diverse group. We come from all around the world. We speak different languages, have s abilities, different resources and have different cultural values. Beware of assumptions. Something that is offensive to you, may be a cultural norm for someone else. The reverse might be true. Asking questions can be a great way to learn and help avoid misunderstandings.
If you read that whole thing you might be really bored or you might be overwhelmed. If you are overwhelmed, don't worry. We've all been where you are. All of us started out new somewhere. Remember how I started by saying how long and well some of us know each other? That shows you how good becoming part of this community can b be. So thanks for reading and go make yourself at home. We are glad you are here.
Some of us have known each other, online and in real life, for long before this particular forum existed. We've been through the experience of not fitting in another place and creating this place. We've shared each others ups and downs. We have shared experiences and in-jokes. I hope that doesn't scare you. We want you to be here. We want to share in your ups and downs and create common memories. Your presence here matters. However, I will be honest, there are going to be times when you might feel left out or ignored. That's not our intent, it's just that we care deeply for each other. When you are new, it can be hard, but think about it as an opportunity. The more you post and spend time here, the more you will develop those same close bounds.
If you are new to forums, then you might also not understand the ebb and flow. Sometimes you can make a post and get very few responses. Make that exact same post, a few weeks later a whole wonderful conversation is sparked and there are tons of replies. Sometimes it really is just a matter of when you post. Sometimes you may make a really heartfelt post, full of emotion and get very few responses while a joking thread is getting a lot of attention. This is a support forum, but sometimes the support we need is to be with friends and laugh. I've felt bad about the lack of response to my posts before. I would guess that almost anyone who has spent a lot of time in forums has. If that happens to you, hang in there.
Another thing to remember is that this non-binary/trans stuff is a process and it's hard stuff. Everyone is on a different step of the journey. It may be all new to you, while some folks have had all sorts of experience and knowledge. The good news is that means there are people who are going to relate to what you are going through. Don't feel bad if it's all new and it seems like others have it all figured out. But I'll let you in on a secret, it's never all figured out. Life is a journey and that's why we all keep learning from each other. It can be easy when you are new, to not reply to anyone because you don't think you have anything to offer. Give it a try. Even if you feel you all you are saying is what's already been said, you may be the person to say it in the way the original poster can understand
Almost all of us have been hurt on this journey. That's one of the great things about having a support forum. Here you can feel safe and do some healing if you need to. There are very gracious, caring and wise people here. If you are having a tough time and making a post it might be good to think about what you need from it. I've seen people make a post, wanting sympathy and caring and only get advice. I've seen people who wanted advice who got a lot of cyberhugs. If you aren't getting what you need, it's ok to kindly say that. It can be hard to figure out how to reply.
Are you still reading? Wow. Ok, one other thing to keep in mind. This is a diverse group. We come from all around the world. We speak different languages, have s abilities, different resources and have different cultural values. Beware of assumptions. Something that is offensive to you, may be a cultural norm for someone else. The reverse might be true. Asking questions can be a great way to learn and help avoid misunderstandings.
If you read that whole thing you might be really bored or you might be overwhelmed. If you are overwhelmed, don't worry. We've all been where you are. All of us started out new somewhere. Remember how I started by saying how long and well some of us know each other? That shows you how good becoming part of this community can b be. So thanks for reading and go make yourself at home. We are glad you are here.
