Anato
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Post by Anato on Dec 3, 2014 9:17:49 GMT 8
On a transgender support group on facebook someone posted a stranger's FB page in an effort to bring awareness to this individual's situation. If I take the posts on this persons FB page at face value it seems that they've experienced abuse from friends, family, and officials (And mostly due to their gender identity and sexuality). Apparently the abuse is so constant that they have decided to end their life. I am currently trying to get in contact with this person to try to help them. I'm also looking into suicide help websites and hotlines to try and see if there's any way I can get professional help with the situation.
I would like to post this person's FB page if that is alright. I am hoping that maybe some of you here could reach out to them and let them know that they aren't alone and that things can get better. Or if anybody's got some advice on how to talk to someone suicidal I could use some ideas.
Or if you know any hotlines or websites that can help me figure out what to do/say. I'm pretty scared for this person right now. I don't know if it's a hoax, but I ferreted out their page and it doesn't look like one to me. I'm gonna act like it's the real deal anyway.
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Post by Edge on Dec 3, 2014 9:25:12 GMT 8
This person may not appreciate the breach of privacy. I mean, I'd be willing to reach out, but I tend not to unless I know it won't make the other person uncomfortable.
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Anato
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Post by Anato on Dec 3, 2014 9:40:12 GMT 8
I dunno Edge. If I respect their privacy that feeds into their self fulfilling prophecy that no one cares. The only way they'll know someone cares is if that person makes the first move. Once someone decides to commit suicide they're beyond reaching out for help on their own.
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Post by Laura J on Dec 3, 2014 9:54:29 GMT 8
Maybe you could PM the link to those interested in trying to help.? That way you won't publically post they're personal info.? I will be happy to try and help, I already have a couple friends on my Fb I met like that, it seemed to be a good thing...
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Post by Edge on Dec 3, 2014 9:57:16 GMT 8
If you don't respect their privacy, you may trigger a panic attack that makes things worse because this stranger is contacting them out of the blue. I know that would have been my reaction if some random person contacted me. Especially if they knew about stuff like my emotional state before I had even met them. I wouldn't be comforted. I'd want to hunt down and kill whoever is spreading around my personal stuff. Maybe this person would feel differently, but I'd much rather know for sure. Also, trying to convince the person that some random stranger cares about them is not the best way to go about helping them and will probably make things worse. Letting them know they're not alone, listening to them, and helping them with crisis survival skills is much more effective. Sorry if that sounds mean or harsh. I don't mean it to be.
(Disclaimer: This is the point of view of someone who has been in the mental health system for a decade, studies psychology as a hobby, and has been taught how to react in a mental health crisis.)
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Post by EchelonHunt on Dec 3, 2014 10:06:00 GMT 8
Does it show their location on their FB? I can find hotlines for the area if they show a suburb and city. If you want to, you can link this forum to them and let them know that many folks here have struggled with similar issues they are going through. It might help make them feel less alone and feel more supported.
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Anato
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Post by Anato on Dec 3, 2014 10:11:15 GMT 8
I'm not gonna repeat myself. I'll take the risk. I will contact the person via fb pm and let them know I will listen to them and help them in any way I can.
Thankyou Mark I will talk to you in a min privately.
EDIT:
Echelon I hadn't thought about linking to the site, but it's not a bad idea. It does show their location on their FB page, but I'm thinking the Trevor Project's suicide hotline might be better than some general suicide hotline for their area. Would it make that big of a difference do you think? Where the hotline is located? Im thinking what issues the people are trained to handle matters more.
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Post by ThePhoenix on Dec 3, 2014 11:06:17 GMT 8
At Maryland Trans*Unity, our volunteers are asked to keep the Trevor Project phone number in their phone. We make it our primary federal for suicide prevention and crisis intervention calls. Our members have had good experiences and report that the people they have reached have been knowledgeable and sensitive about trans* realities.
You didn't mention where the person is. If they are in DC/MD/VA, then you can link them up to me. I might be able to help or find someone else who can.
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Anato
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anonbear
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Post by Anato on Dec 3, 2014 11:17:39 GMT 8
I feel better about sending them the Travor Project hotline number then. They are in Illinois, unfortunately.
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Anato
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Post by Anato on Dec 3, 2014 12:05:56 GMT 8
Update: The police are at the person's house right now. A friend caught wind of what was happening through the FB trans support group page and alerted everyone they know including the authorities. Hopefully things will turn out okay.
New Update: "Okay. The police called me. R**** opened the door and talked to an officer. He said he has an appointment Thursday with his therapist and looked the officer in the eye and promised he would not hurt himself before the appointment. He said that R**** was pleased with the contact he had with that officer, that he was treated very well."
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 21:40:18 GMT 8
Jacey makes a really good point. Give your friend and invite here. The threat of suicide should always be taken seriously even if it's said out of high emotional distress and the person doesn't really mean it. Just let your freind know they are not alone.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Dec 3, 2014 21:40:31 GMT 8
What a relief! I hope his therapist can help him work through the issues. It was nice to see that the officer was respectful and kind (I'm assuming, since he was treated very well.)
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 22:25:19 GMT 8
Update: The police are at the person's house right now. A friend caught wind of what was happening through the FB trans support group page and alerted everyone they know including the authorities. Hopefully things will turn out okay. New Update: "Okay. The police called me. R**** opened the door and talked to an officer. He said he has an appointment Thursday with his therapist and looked the officer in the eye and promised he would not hurt himself before the appointment. He said that R**** was pleased with the contact he had with that officer, that he was treated very well." What comes out of this is a mutual appreciation we can all have for Anonbear and other members here for having such compassion for others who they don't even know when it's always so easy to go pfffft and look the other way.
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Anato
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Post by Anato on Dec 4, 2014 3:31:59 GMT 8
This is what support groups are for. We're here to get support and give it.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2014 2:32:13 GMT 8
This is what support groups are for. We're here to get support and give it. I would have liked this 15 times if I could. You are 100% right.
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