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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2015 18:05:17 GMT 8
Me...body, girl. Presentation....girl under, very girl. Outer, anything. Full makeup unless male stealth Sex....Mtf no op girl Sexuality...same Mind? It's both, neither, it's everything, or nothing. Sh'e speaks, he speaks, I speak...
You? Ftm posts welcome too here, nbs, feel free loves.
Satinjoy...Trinity
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Post by Deleted on May 20, 2015 21:35:37 GMT 8
I'm all female in my mind. I've learned to always see myself as me. It's a lot different than the old days where I was insecure in my femininity and had to conform to what all the other MTFs were doing to "prove myself" as a woman. These days I just am. I won't hesitate to display traits some people might see as masculine. Body is a constant work in progress. I'm definitely never going to blend in. I got so enamored with the idea that I had to "pass," that I lost sight of being me. What I mean by that is I started to ask myself, "What would I do if I had been a cis girl?" Would I have still worn makeup then? Would I have done my hair this way?" Questions along those lines. And I realised that in many cases, the answer was no. If I had been born a cis girl, I wouldn't bother with makeup. I would be secure in my identity as a woman and wouldn't need to. It wouldn't matter to me if someone thought I was less feminine, because I'd be secure in the knowledge that I was female, whether they recognised it or not. After coming to this realisation, and working on my self esteem, I vowed to never again go down that road of only changing things about my appearance to appease society. I don't care if I ever pass. It isn't worth sacrificing my individuality to fit in. I know I'm a woman. My friends and family know I'm a woman. My partner knows I'm a woman. That's what should matter, not what random strangers think. I've been so much happier since I accepted this and stopped the constant obsession with presenting as feminine as possible. It's been a huge weight off my shoulders.
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Post by Deleted on May 29, 2015 14:33:24 GMT 8
Body: The most I've got going for me right now are my hips which were naturally somewhat wide already, but are getting wider with HRT. In only six months I've developed decent A cups, but I'm hoping they will get to at least a B. My hands don't really do me any justice, but I do have that digit ratio thing where my index and ring fingers are the same length. Plus, they are slender rather than meaty. My face is needs to fill out, too. I lost a lot of weight (too much) so my cheeks got a bit sunken. I'm gaining my weight back now, though. I hope my face catches up. I could really use a nose job, too. The cartilage at the tip splits which is just unsightly, and the whole thing just needs to be slimmed and reduced. I've had some regrowth of hair where it recedes, and I plan on taking Finasteride to help with that some more.
Presentation: Not masculine, not feminine. I just wear jeans and t-shirts most of the time. I would like to get some maxi skirts and wear some nice tank tops, but it just wouldn't look right on me right now. The most feminine clothing I have I only wear at home for now.
Sex: Nothing changed there... yet.
Sexuality: Primarily asexual. Sex has never been something I care about. I do prefer woman romantically, though. I don't care if she's cis or trans. I have a thing for androgyny, too. Me and straight cis women never really had the right chemistry. I am essentially lesbian. If she's queer, she's a dear.
Mind: I really don't know how that can even be answered. I don't think I would know the difference if you put my consciousness in a cis woman's brain. I think one's identity is enough of an indicator of how male or female they are mentally. Masculine things have never been interesting to me. Male attitudes and behaviors have never made sense to me. I don't really feel particularly masculine or feminine in any obvious ways. I just know who I am, and that's a woman. That's enough for me.
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Post by Mingma on Jun 20, 2015 8:02:30 GMT 8
Interesting discussion. I usually experience life socially as a woman, but my internal dialog is much more ambiguous. I look like a blended person and so I am, but I prefer to be responded to as a woman and so adopt feminine accessories, makeup, and mannerisms - except when I don't. Even if I wanted to, I doubt that I could completely shed the conditioning of years of persona. So I don't really try if that makes any sense.
I really like this observation which is what prompted me to contribute, it is very descriptive of where I've been for some time.
Mind: I really don't know how that can even be answered. I don't think I would know the difference if you put my consciousness in a cis woman's brain. I think one's identity is enough of an indicator of how male or female they are mentally. Masculine things have never been interesting to me. Male attitudes and behaviors have never made sense to me. I don't really feel particularly masculine or feminine in any obvious ways. I just know who I am, and that's a woman. That's enough for me.
Thanks, Ming
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2015 10:08:33 GMT 8
Interesting what time does.It's a month since the thread started.
My splitting is practically gone. The mind, is not male or female, it is a mix of many attributes, and a lot of likes and attractions, but no longer with polarization in opposition.
There is just me. And my body, my sex, my sexuality.
Much more stable, pretty interesting how it works together now.
Who knew....
:-)
Trinity
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jun 21, 2015 23:10:54 GMT 8
Who knew?...
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Post by julie456 on Aug 10, 2015 15:03:35 GMT 8
Body: Male, but I've always been very androgynous and skinny and short -.- (but all the men in my family are pretty short). But, I've started to notice my body becoming more and more masculine. Maybe I'm going through a 2nd puberty? Idk I'm 19 and still look pretty boyish, so I guess it makes sense. I'm kind of uncomfortable with the changes though. I like myself the way I am now... Oh, and I'm also growing out my hair Presentation: Feminine definetly. I have a very feminine outer appearance, even when I'm not wearing girl clothes. Sex: Male Sexuality: Pansexual, but I'm definitely more attracted to feminine people (and tbh I think I like women more than men xD) in both appearance and mind. Mind: Switches between male and female. Sometimes it lasts for a few days, sometimes a few months. This doesn't affect the clothing I wear though, even if I identify as male I don't mind wearing a skirt.
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