what is your biggest challenge and reward living trans?

[Deleted]

Mine are multiple. Feeling unique, as in third gendered and alone, is the worst.

Walking the tightrope of dysphoria and presentation..

Spiritual feelings of exclusion

That funny look they always seem to give me, the one I'd like to just end it all when it's just once to many
But all of it is worth it.

The freedom and living truth is huge.

Thoughts?

hard to keep up, forest is busy.

[Deleted]

And the deep bonds in here are priceless.

[Laura J]

My biggest challenge is being myself in public places.. Actually no, not just public places, I mean places where lots of other people are around.. 
Stores and malls are very hard for me to feel comfortable in.. Even before, when I was struggling with my identity I disliked going into those places.. 
I always (and still do) plan ahead which store I'm going in, what I'm buying, and the fastest way in and out.. 
I'm a really good shopper too, I don't mess around at all..!  P-) 

It's a challenge talking about myself now.. It didn't used to be, but now, well so many of my thoughts have changed direction, it's hard to know what to say to others.?


As for rewards.? The first thing I think of is all of you.. That I wouldn't have met any of you if I wasn't trans..?  (zzz) That would have been an imeasurable loss..  :-/ 

My reward is that I feel so opened to things now, it's like no part of me is hidden any longer..  (rofl) I feel it more and more too.. Theres still bad days, but the good days are so much better, the bad ones get lost in the background.. 

A reward is that I can explore new things anytime now, things I never imagined before, but now seem possible, exciting, tantalizing.. 

Probably more, but I can't explain them right now.. 



 

[Deleted]

Nov 29, 2014 5:37:05 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Mine are multiple. Feeling unique, as in third gendered and alone, is the worst.

Walking the tightrope of dysphoria and presentation..

Spiritual feelings of exclusion

That funny look they always seem to give me, the one I'd like to just end it all when it's just once to many
But all of it is worth it.

The freedom and living truth is huge.

Thoughts?

hard to keep up, forest is busy.

OMG Trinity. Really? Spiritual feeling should be a personal thing. I don't belong to any belief system but am Spiritual.

The biggest challenge? HMMM. I would have to say that life is the biggest challenge. Trying to be the best me that I can be. regardless of what anyone thinks, assumes, see or thinks. Never cared before so why now?

Biggest reward is seeing the world from two perspectives. If I was male or female the world would be monocular but having both gives me binocular vision.

OH and everything Mark said. Mark is wise even if he as just as crazy as I am.  Just kidding though. Kind of. 8-)

[Ayla]

Hard questions these.

Biggest challenge - continuing to pursue authenticity when I know that the next 'edge' may well become a pivot or inflection point for myself and for others. Each learning and growth opportunity while appearing to be quite significant have, in hindsight, proven to be relatively easy to address. Low dose hrt addresses my dysphoria and maintains a male patina. The continuing attraction of hrt is a double edge sword, euphoria and the potential shattering of my much changed patina and with it social and family risk and fallout

Biggest rewards - a more empowered, self authored and authentic life where I have been able to cast aside many fears and constraints to better access and to express my core. This has provided a far richer life, deeper, more intimate and unexpected relationships and unexpected growth and joy.

As I reflect on these and on other possible responses I am overwhelmed by my journey, my friendships and my ongoing transformation from the consummate actor living the 7x24 hour part of a binary alpha male, insecure and uncertain as to their sanity, to a person who is increasingly confident and delighted with the path they have chosen.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Laura J]

Nov 29, 2014 6:40:55 GMT 8 @jamie said:

Nov 29, 2014 5:37:05 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Mine are multiple. Feeling unique, as in third gendered and alone, is the worst.

Walking the tightrope of dysphoria and presentation..

Spiritual feelings of exclusion

That funny look they always seem to give me, the one I'd like to just end it all when it's just once to many
But all of it is worth it.

The freedom and living truth is huge.

Thoughts?

hard to keep up, forest is busy.

 Mark is wise even if he as just as crazy as I am.  Just kidding though. Kind of. 8-)

CRAZIER silly...!!! 

[Deleted]

Nov 29, 2014 6:59:07 GMT 8 Laura J said:

Nov 29, 2014 6:40:55 GMT 8 @jamie said:

 Mark is wise even if he as just as crazy as I am.  Just kidding though. Kind of. 8-)

CRAZIER silly...!!! 

I don't know. I did see your video on youtube and you looked pretty tame to me.

[Edge]

Biggest challenge: The dysphoria and the feeling of hopelessness I get sometimes when I think I'll never pass.

Biggest reward: Living as myself. Words are not enough to convey how much better this makes my life.

[Kira]

My biggest challenge is either the anxiety of being found out and attacked and judged, or the pressure of keeping things unsaid OrOr maybe dealing with familial rejection.

My biggest reward is not having to suppress desires and behaviours that I did before.

[Deleted]

Dec 24, 2014 6:30:36 GMT 8 Kira said:

My biggest challenge is either the anxiety of being found out and attacked and judged, or the pressure of keeping things unsaid OrOr maybe dealing with familial rejection.

My biggest reward is not having to suppress desires and behaviours that I did before.


Speak freely here, and this family does not like judging.

This place is about celebrating your truth.  Yours, not what someone says it should be, your own diamond truth, ready to be revealed.

[Kelly]

The biggest challenge? Working out who and what I was.. The reward? Being able to be her.

[bhhfmm]

The biggest challenge was getting past my own notions of what I should be and not just be. It's like it can go the other way when you transition, you fall into just another trap if you don't watch out.

Biggest reward is getting to where it doesn't matter, just be Jaime and not worry about what people think of it.

[Deleted]

Same as what Jaime said, I could probably reset my ID as MtF non-binary since that option is now available thanks to Jacey, but then non-binary is sufficient.

[Patty]

My biggest challenge would be living long enough to REALLY enjoy all the beautiful changes and to remember them !
The biggest reward ,well it has to be the ability to be just me an NB woman who's friends have accepted and still love..The biggest thing though would be having the love of my life back in my life and totally accepting me as the person I am Life is good . Patty

[Deleted]

Dec 24, 2014 6:30:36 GMT 8 Kira said:

My biggest challenge is either the anxiety of being found out and attacked and judged, or the pressure of keeping things unsaid OrOr maybe dealing with familial rejection.

My biggest reward is not having to suppress desires and behaviours that I did before.

Trinity is right. You will never face rejection here.

Family is who you make them as your family. Genetics don't mean much. Close friends are more like brothers and sister than actual genetic brothers and sisters.

Besides some of us are sitting on the fence. Should we go to the left or right? Your experience is extremely valuable for those of us that are thinking one or the other. And even if not. our experience is still as valuable.

But yeah Kira. Suppression sux. I hated every minute of it.