How would you live and present if totally free?

[Trinity]

In a perfect world with perfect love and acceptance, how would you live and present in the realm of gender and social living?

Are you able to do any of that now?

[Ativan Prescribed]

I honestly don't know if anything would be different, it is what it is for me, there isn't anything with that I think I would want different.
Other things would be a lot different, people wouldn't be defined by which side of the political divide they are on.
I think that is something that keeps most everyone from being as loving and accepting as they really want to be.

[Trinity]

It's likely that I would live and present way more female than I do now, when I can.

I'd be out and about more, I'd be going more places, visiting more friends.

Probably would be doing more towards theater, not sure of that.

I told my agent in hollywood I am out for now, doing the grandparent responsibility thing, I needed to do that.

If I was unmarried, I would certainly go full tilt transition, live that way.

But I am married and happy with that, so no deal there, and there are advantages to fluidity in presentation, so you know, having my cake and eating it too is a nice thing, and I do that already.

Interesting question to consider.

[Leena]

This is a tough one. In a lot of ways I am able to present as feminine as I want in my situation, but life seems to make me present masculine a lot lately.

I do still want to present feminine though, going back and forth is kind of rough on me. I may just stop presenting masculine once I am done with electrolysis, though the idea is pretty scary.

[Von]

Totally free, no expectations? However the hell I want that day, without considering who is going to see me in what way and assume things about me.
Would that I could go out on my femme days in a cute top and skirt and not be immediately gendered. And that I could ask for typically male things without a strange look.
That I could refer to myself using He or "that guy" without being "corrected" by some nit-picker.

People would acknowledge my true gender and celebrate it rather than tolerate it or ignore it.

[Leena]

This thread is making me think about why exactly I do not feel totally free.

I mainly still just am not comfortable presenting totally feminine, like a skirt or a dress, but I'm not sure that is more because I am not binary trans. I much rather like just wearing jeans and a T shirt, though I like the ones from the women's department better for the most part. I just like light eye makeup usually. I get stuck on that I want to live and look like a masculine woman, but people view me instead as a feminine guy.

[Trinity]

Sept 5, 2019 10:03:28 GMT 8 Leena said:

This thread is making me think about why exactly I do not feel totally free.

I mainly still just am not comfortable presenting totally feminine, like a skirt or a dress, but I'm not sure that is more because I am not binary trans. I much rather like just wearing jeans and a T shirt, though I like the ones from the women's department better for the most part. I just like light eye makeup usually. I get stuck on that I want to live and look like a masculine woman, but people view me instead as a feminine guy.

It can feel like emotional dynomite to go here.  But this forum always asks the hard questions.

It is always a path for me to go totally sh'e, a temptation.  But because of the society we live in and choices made years ago, there are compromises to make.

Had i to do it over, i would have fully transitioned at 16.   But there would be a great cost to that too.

Love is a mitigating factor for us.  So living in the now the question becomes as you said.  What is holding us back.

Choices....

[Ativan Prescribed]

To hear the comments some people make at times, I have to assume they would do things a lot different, and I mean cis binary.
Guys who say they'd like to have a pair of tits, as they put it, and if it was possible without kickback on them, no doubt they would.
Most guys have tried on women's clothes, they just have, I doubt that there is more than one percent who haven't, but I'll bet they want to anyways.
Same with hearing woman talk about how fun it would be to have a big dick, swagger with that thing bulging in their jeans, and same for them, I'll bet they have done something to compensate at one time or a lot of times.
Virtually every woman I've asked, other than pre surgery trans, if they would like to have a strap on and have someone to use it on, some guy, and they all say about the same thing, fuck yah that would be great.
And then they do the stance like they are holding a big dick, of course they would if they could.
But there is that thing of not wanting those things bad enough because what if you didn't like it? But then male and female stop and envision it again and get that feeling that they just might really like it.
But the biggest by far is the want to have both, be the interchangable sex, can play it from both sides, and if society let them and somehow they could, damn right they would.
They don't stop to think about trans when it is them, they deny it up and down, it isn't like that for them, but guys secretly want to be able to be woman when they want.
And because most everyone looks at porn at least once in a while, the very biggest section they have is trans porn, woman like it and guys are addicted to it, but people will never admit to it.
But the porn industry keeps very close tabs on what is watched and where, they have a really good idea if it is a male or female watching this or that, and they do, a lot, it's like they most thing that the internet is used for.
So in a world where you could just accept and not have to worry about other people's stuff, it would be way different, and to be able to say that this is what you like best in porn, trans dating would be a whole lot different.
What separates us is that we feel a gender than isn't like the cis binary, and even though they could fulfill their fantasy life style, they would still be stuck with that idea of gender being assigned at birth when it isn't, your sex is, but your gender isn't, there is no assigning, it's up to you.
I think they would still be centered somehow on the assumption that gender is the same thing as sex, even though they would radically change theirs, but they would still cling to that sex and gender being the same thing.

[Trinity]

Ativan Prescribed one of the things that made me really think was the porn thing.

I don't watch it, for various reasons, spiritual, religious, addiction prone, there are a lot of reasons that I won't go near it.

But back in the day, I was exposed to it as something I had to fight off, one night binges with year long gaps, it happened, and mostly when I still had testosterone in me.

And here is the thing.  In any scene with sex, whether it be that or the scenes now on television and accepted as normal, I ALWAYS identify with the woman, want to be the woman, and I get extremely jealous and dysphoric.  There is no identification with the men at all with me, zero, nada.  There is attraction though, and its strong.

This is one of the driving forces for me being trans, its that crossover of having that type of sex and sexuality, sex defined as what I was supposed to have, what I experience in my nerve endings.

Today was a dysphoric day, I would far prefer to be sh'e right now, I guess I am actually, the clothes are outer, but its more than that, I have been in the male or androgyne personna for a sustained period and its starting to boomerang.  And I am late with my shot, forgot to take it with me upstate.  Not that it should matter much, its only a day or so.

Digressing here.  The point is how I percieve my body.  Had there been no blocks, and if there were still no blocks, my body would be totally sh'e.

The trans women I have seen are attractive, true, and I identify with them, but only if they are a bottom and only if they are interacting with men in a one hundred percent female way.  Then, I see myself, clearly.  Women I have seen, as I have said, I wish I was them.

Interesting barometer there.  Something to think about.

Porn is addictive and polluting for me, I stay away from it, I've seen peoples lives ruined by it.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Porn is nothing more than the fantasy of most people, it's like the internet in that you can find the thing you are looking for, at your fingertips.
Porn is carefully made to have the look and 'feel' that is just fantasy, real life is not at all like porn, never ever are you going to be having sex and suddenly feel like you are doing porn, if you are, then it's time to turn that stuff off.
Its just the sex version of what movies and TV are, real life is hardly the same, it can be the same basic, but the way it is recorded and what you see is different than real life, its over the top, always.
Pretty hard to have a day that has the lighting you see in a movie, you don't walk down a sidewalk and experience that feeling of like you are in a movie, if you do you need to take a step back and talk to your therapist.
Even if someone is recording a sidewalk scene in the next block, when they leave and you walk that sidewalk, it isn't going to be the same thing.
Look at youtube vids, people do some really good vids and they are not at all like a movie or TV, they are pretty much what you'd expect if you were there, without the crappy sound levels and wind noise and the jerky lighting and stuff.
Even the stuff they say is amature stuff, it isn't, its made to maybe seem like it, its still the stuff of fantasy porn, it isn't real and when you start to fall into it as being real, time to turn it off.
But people live in their own fantasies all the time, they step out when they can as far as they can, a little this here and a little that over there, people just do it and you see it and hear it all the time.
It's how people live really, insert fantasy stuff here... , its a big part of the fun people have all the time, but since it is so common, it isn't perceived ad fantasy, its the game playing, and everyone does it.
Music that you listen to is pure fantasy stuff, its the only time you will ever hear it like that, live isn't even close, its still good and you like it because it is in your face, but headphones and buds take you into the fantasy that you choose to listen to.
Like the movies you like to watch, the serial shows, even youtube vids.

[Becky]

I dream about this all the time - a society free of gender stereotypes and expectations.

I would wear long, flowing flower-print dresses and wedge heel sandals. I would paint my toe AND fingernails metallic blue or purple. I would wear burgundy lipstick and apply mascara. I would hang out with women, and talk freely about the things I'm really interested in (cooking, sewing, makeup) without them getting creeped out.

And, more than likely, I would take estrogen and try to get curves in the right places.

I am so very, very trans...and this is likely to never, ever happen.

[Trinity]

Sept 6, 2019 4:19:59 GMT 8 Becky said:

I dream about this all the time - a society free of gender stereotypes and expectations.

I would wear long, flowing flower-print dresses and wedge heel sandals. I would paint my toe AND fingernails metallic blue or purple. I would wear burgundy lipstick and apply mascara. I would hang out with women, and talk freely about the things I'm really interested in (cooking, sewing, makeup) without them getting creeped out.

And, more than likely, I would take estrogen and try to get curves in the right places.

I am so very, very trans...and this is likely to never, ever happen.

Hugs darling.

Sometimes that what we got.

Hope you get the self care time you need when you need it.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Sept 6, 2019 4:19:59 GMT 8 Becky said:

I dream about this all the time - a society free of gender stereotypes and expectations.

I would wear long, flowing flower-print dresses and wedge heel sandals. I would paint my toe AND fingernails metallic blue or purple. I would wear burgundy lipstick and apply mascara. I would hang out with women, and talk freely about the things I'm really interested in (cooking, sewing, makeup) without them getting creeped out.

And, more than likely, I would take estrogen and try to get curves in the right places.

I am so very, very trans...and this is likely to never, ever happen.

You just never know what is going to happen in the future.
Always have hope, trans is seen so differently than when I was growing up, it's like a billion times better.
It just takes getting the wrong people out of the right places, the voice of americans needs to be heard.

[Ativan Prescribed]

OK, would people be able to freely talk about the sex aid stuff they secretly have and never tell anyone?
Who here has a dildo or equivalent and is tired of having to put it away because someone might come over?
It's like porn, you have to keep it a secret, even on here its not something anyone talks about much, but they should be able to.

[Trinity]

Sept 6, 2019 10:47:47 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

OK, would people be able to freely talk about the sex aid stuff they secretly have and never tell anyone?
Who here has a dildo or equivalent and is tired of having to put it away because someone might come over?
It's like porn, you have to keep it a secret, even on here its not something anyone talks about much, but they should be able to.

Big and bigger, and the shower wall is grinning and smoking a cigarette.

And horsepower, yup.  Some of that.

Told the wife, she wont look at them but knows about it.  No secrets.

So....yeah.