Gender and pleasure

[LivingTheDream]

I can somewhat relate to this. I prolly would be classified as only having minor dysphoria and usually just disliked myself, tho did have moments when I hated myself. I prolly had some discomfort but I am definitely motivated by "pleasure" as this post says too.

I certainly never liked the way I looked. I didn't like feeling like I had to be such and such way because I was a guy. Guys do this, look like this, act like this, treated like this, can't ever do this or that type things or you're gay or something.

I do have quite a long history of being different (privately ofc) but most of the changes have come in the last couple of years.

I always thought of myself as one of the guys (albeit slightly different), always totally into women as well. One day I was thinking about an online gf who I was totally in love with at the time, and started wishing I was her. Everything sort of switched then. I started looking at things differently. I'd see women and be like, I wish I had that, or looked like that, could wear that, stuff like that. This coworker of mine, she is just the sweetest, cutest little thing, has like the best hair ever. Long, straight hair with a tint of red, and oh so soft. Used to play with it all the time. Was totally jealous. I realized, I could do that, so, started trying to let mine grow longer.

I used to hate pictures of myself (I still hate older ones of me). I would only look in a mirror if I was shaving or checking my hair in the am, so like once a day. Didn't wanna see myself.

Now, I do it multiple times a day. I feel better about the way I look (well sometimes...). Doing so I guess makes me happier, gives me "pleasure". I definitely feel better about myself. I no longer hate myself. I feel hopeful, and I hope this trend continues.

[Deleted]

I can relate to that article completely, I've never had dysphoria or hated my body parts like so many claim to. There's been times that I wished for a nicer looking face, or a more slender body type. Some women with real curly Lambie pie hair wish they had straight hair and visa versa, but all that's pretty normal. Meanwhile I suspect that a lot of trans people profess disgust with their born body parts more because it's expected of them to feel that way for the gender therapists and surgeons that are going to need some reason to approve the changes the client would like to make.

[Edge]

Honestly, I've come across more people who think what this person described is the only description of trans people than I've met people who acknowledge and respect that some of us do have body dysphoria. It's pretty hurtful to have one's body dysphoria and unpleasant experiences discounted as non existent. Not trying to put anyone down or make excuses, but I'm just saying I can see why people would be so adamant to have their experiences acknowledged. In this case, I guess that's a bridge that would connect us. So how about we all respect and acknowledge each other's experiences?

[Deleted]

The fact that we are not all cast from the same mold, have separate minds, hearts and personalities and are affected differently from one another is indeed encouraging knowing that we are individuals and not just clones with drone mentalities. I have always hated it when other people presume to speak for me. I am a unique human being as you all are, and I find that comforting and sufficient for me.

[Leena]

Mar 24, 2015 1:19:36 GMT 8 Shan said:

I can relate to that article completely, I've never had dysphoria or hated my body parts like so many claim to. There's been times that I wished for a nicer looking face, or a more slender body type. Some women with real curly Lambie pie hair wish they had straight hair and visa versa, but all that's pretty normal. Meanwhile I suspect that a lot of trans people profess disgust with their born body parts more because it's expected of them to feel that way for the gender therapists and surgeons that are going to need some reason to approve the changes the client would like to make.

A lot of women have told me they wished they had my hair. I don't hate my body either, when my hair is long, I actually like how I look in the mirror. I look more like an 80's hair metal dude than a woman, but I look good. I care more about that, than looking feminine. I'm OK with the fact that I look more like a guy than a girl, but feel more like a girl than a guy, most of the time. Most people who know me for awhile, figure it out on their own, I don't advertise that I'm non-binary, except online, and that hasn't worked out that well, outside of certain circles, like this one. I don't see why I should be encouraged to hate my body. 

[Kira]

I never felt like a woman; like most women I wouldn't even know what that feels like. I know I sure as hell don't feel like a man and the idea of being a man is very foreign to me, whereas being a woman does not. I wouldn't say I feel like a woman though, I feel like me. I know I really really really want to be a woman and I have since I was small.

[Deleted]

Apr 3, 2015 0:53:10 GMT 8 Kira said:

I never felt like a woman; like most women I wouldn't even know what that feels like. I know I sure as hell don't feel like a man and the idea of being a man is very foreign to me, whereas being a woman does not. I wouldn't say I feel like a woman though, I feel like me. I know I really really really want to be a woman and I have since I was small.

Oh honey you are a woman, no doubt about it!

[Deleted]

Hottie, isnt she.

fantastic transition, remarkable, and I know she needs that.

[Deleted]

OMG. OK I am going to go here. Stereotypes. Damned if we do and damned if we don't. But the male and female genders have certain aspects to them. We can't really choose what we feel. I feel emotions on more of a female level. Hell I don't mind my genitals. I have little boobs but even if I didn't have any it wouldn't affect the way I feel. My personality has way more female aspects than male aspects. OK, so I got a penis. Does that really affect who I am inside. It my limit my available amount of prospective lovers. But on the other hand other than our DAWGS that most call "chasers", the relationships have been more meaningful and deeper. Pleasure should be a mental state. Yeah it can be a physical sensation and it is. But when it is a mental thing and mixed with the carnal pleasure then it is amazing. But if it is purely a carnal or physical sensation then it still feels good if you don't suffer from Dysphoria but it isn't nearly as deep as mental and physical pleasure together. Love should be extremely special. Sex is more instinctual.

OK so some may call them stereotypes. But the male and female aspects are more often than not true. This isn't to say that we can't feel both aspects and I believe a lot of us do or we wouldn't be or call ourselves nonbinary. But the main thing is that we shouldn't let our genitalia define us as male or female but something deeper. Our personalities or as Trinity likes to call it, our cores, should be what defines us. Whether male, female or a combination of both. Forget the genitalia. People that are so drawn to that are truly missing out on knowing other people on way deeper levels.

[Deleted]

Let me put it this way.

For me to go boom, it does not happen unless in fantasy I am dissassociated from my, ummm, crap I hate the word.

It is a constant fantasy that it be turned inside out and that I experience intercourse as a female bodied and orgasmed person.

Is it painful to see the thing? No. But would it be better not to have what I consider now to be more of an extended clitorus?

Change it to a neo vagina?

Hey, yeah, would be great. But not dysphoria driven.

The rest of the body is a totally different matter.

I waited till there was no choice except either hell or transition and then started.

It was mishandled from the beginning and for 55 years.

Using pain as the barometer for the finishing touch of full transition... why wait so long if we know its the truth. Why wait for it to be unbearable, to crash on it. Yet, most of us late transitioners did.

Be nice to have one of those vaginas and be taken sexually again. Big time. (Big.... ummmm).  My body craves this.  Being taken, being made love to.

Who knows. Shrink stunned me the other day, he would write that letter if I asked him to, once all the angles are looked at. The SRS letter. He was always against that. But right now, I dont need it.

I think this is changing? This pain as reason to transition, as opposed to truth? Our truth?

But I like where transition has taken me, for sure, this HRT transition.

I too feel like me.  And I believe my nerves are identical to female.  I sure respond like that.

But could also frolick with the wife with enough Cialis.  Thats still there too, and I need the thing to .... ummm... well...., there is hope.... and while there is hope, no srs.  Not if I need that thing with her.  More time is needed to find that one out.   I am still getting more female appearing.

[Deleted]

Apr 3, 2015 4:18:12 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Let me put it this way.

For me to go boom, it does not happen unless in fantasy I am dissassociated from my, ummm, crap I hate the word.

It is a constant fantasy that it be turned inside out and that I experience intercourse as a female bodied and orgasmed person.

Is it painful to see the thing? No. But would it be better not to have what I consider now to be more of an extended clitorus?

Change it to a neo vagina?

Hey, yeah, would be great. But not dysphoria driven.

The rest of the body is a totally different matter.

I waited till there was no choice except either hell or transition and then started.

It was mishandled from the beginning and for 55 years.

Using pain as the barometer for the finishing touch of full transition... why wait so long if we know its the truth. Why wait for it to be unbearable, to crash on it. Yet, most of us late transitioners did.

Be nice to have one of those and be taken sexually again. Big time. (Big.... ummmm)

Who knows. Shrink stunned me the other day, he would write that letter if I asked him to, once all the angles are looked at. The SRS letter. He was always against that. But right now, I dont need it.

I think this is changing? This pain as reason to transition, as opposed to truth? Our truth?

But I like where transition has taken me, for sure, this HRT transition.

I too feel like me.  And I believe my nerves are identical to female.  I sure respond like that.

But could also frolick with the wife with enough Cialis.  Thats still there too, and I need the thing to .... ummm... well...., there is hope....

Do you have any idea how many people "go boom" because of fantasies? More than what most people will admit to I promise.

[Deleted]

Unless I experience sex as being female, with the thing either not a part of me, or inside me, no boom is possible.

Been like that forever.

[Kira]

I don't o during sex send haven't for years, but it's not the point of it for me.

[Deleted]

Apr 3, 2015 5:19:26 GMT 8 Kira said:

I don't o during sex send haven't for years, but it's not the point of it for me.

I couldn't handle that

[Kira]

Apr 3, 2015 5:23:05 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Apr 3, 2015 5:19:26 GMT 8 Kira said:

I don't o during sex send haven't for years, but it's not the point of it for me.

I couldn't handle that

I don't have much choice! Lol. I can rarely o by myself, so I don't hold out much hope for post op. It's ok tho. I enjoy that part vicariously. If my partner is satisfied it makes me feel very good.