what are your needs?

[Taka]

you've no idea what i like, do you...

i'm using emo boys as an example. as girly and made up an even misrable, as a guy can possibly be. but that only made the girls like them even more.
one more reason why i believe i'll never understand how girls think.


i can't remember what needs we were talking about, but if it's what i need in a partner... i need a car mechanic. that's about it. i don't need a man at all. not a woman either, but i'm still thinking a wife would be nice.

[Deleted]

Feb 25, 2015 5:56:51 GMT 8 Taka said:

you've no idea what i like, do you...

i'm using emo boys as an example. as girly and made up an even misrable, as a guy can possibly be. but that only made the girls like them even more.
one more reason why i believe i'll never understand how girls think.


i can't remember what needs we were talking about, but if it's what i need in a partner... i need a car mechanic. that's about it. i don't need a man at all. not a woman either, but i'm still thinking a wife would be nice.

No Taka. I don't LOL. I know how women my age think but young girls? Not so much. I think it's more of a generational thing.

Oh I love men. I love girls too but would now days rather have man trans or cis.

BTW they are called technicians now not mechanics.  Especially since every vehicle now seems to be more computer than actual engine, tranny and rear end. So there are some really good women automotive technicians. So you may find that wife yet.

Yeah me neither. I don't remember what needs we were talking about. Oh well.

[Leena]

Feb 25, 2015 3:11:16 GMT 8 @jamie said:

 Not really because I'm about to say fuck it and go for HRT. Maybe.

Funny, I seem to be more wanting to go the opposite direction, and be a bodybuilder again, yes I went though a bodybuilding phase for a few years when I was in denial, looking back I wasn't even totally in denial then…in fact did pump some iron yesterday, and the day before…but if you go that route, that's cool too, I've came close to going for HRT also not that long ago...

In the end, the reason I want to have either a sculpted male physique achievable through bodybuilding or a smooth curvy body possibly achievable through HRT is that my underlying need is to be viewed as attractive, which my currently overweight male body is not. Am I totally crazy for wanting the body I have to look the best it can? I also would feel more comfortable being hairless, if I had a cut body, as the dislike of body hair is not uncommon in the bodybuilding community…no modern pro-bodybuilder has any body hair. Don't get me wrong, I'm not wanting to look like Ronnie Coleman or Arnold Schwarzenegger or something, but a hint of a six pack, and my arms are actually still pretty big from before, wouldn't be all that bad a look for me, in my book, especially with a hairless body and even longer hair. That is, if I can do this without going back into denial. 

[Deleted]

Feb 25, 2015 13:18:42 GMT 8 Leena said:

Feb 25, 2015 3:11:16 GMT 8 @jamie said:

 Not really because I'm about to say fuck it and go for HRT. Maybe.

Funny, I seem to be more wanting to go the opposite direction, and be a bodybuilder again, yes I went though a bodybuilding phase for a few years when I was in denial, looking back I wasn't even totally in denial then…in fact did pump some iron yesterday, and the day before…but if you go that route, that's cool too, I've came close to going for HRT also not that long ago...

In the end, the reason I want to have either a sculpted male physique achievable through bodybuilding or a smooth curvy body possibly achievable through HRT is that my underlying need is to be viewed as attractive, which my currently overweight male body is not. Am I totally crazy for wanting the body I have to look the best it can? I also would feel more comfortable being hairless, if I had a cut body, as the dislike of body hair is not uncommon in the bodybuilding community…no modern pro-bodybuilder has any body hair. Don't get me wrong, I'm not wanting to look like Ronnie Coleman or Arnold Schwarzenegger or something, but a hint of a six pack, and my arms are actually still pretty big from before, wouldn't be all that bad a look for me, in my book, especially with a hairless body and even longer hair. That is, if I can do this without going back into denial. 

I would rather face death and come back as the real me. I do believe in reincarnation but if I commit suicide then I will have to repeat this bullshit lesson which is being male with a female mind.  Oh I could deal with it. I could deal with it with HRT and still pass hopefully or probably. I could even deal with it with HRT and SRS and pass the lesson. But for some reason I want to suffer. I don't know why. But walking through hell for me is just a walk in the park. It does give me some inspiration or desperation in a creative capacity. Hell don't scare me and heaven don't even inspire me. It does sound messed up but never claimed to be right mentally even. maybe some of us need to dance on the edge of the blade to help others. To be honest I don't know how much I can help someone else when I can't even help my ownself.  But if I ever do then maybe Karma may smile a little on me. But that isn't why. I could give a shit less about me. I figure I will be quite warm in the afterlife. But if I can make one other person see that being trans is not a bad thing then that is a good thing. I will still be really warm but it isn't for me.

Honestly if being trans is a sin the I will gladly burn for everyone else. I personally think we are way above the average person but if not I will sacrifice m own soul for everyone that feels trans So lay your so called sin on my soul. I personally think it is more a blessing than a sin. Even Christ had a burden to bear. Can we bear this one we all have. Sometimes I can and sometimes I can't Sometimes I falter and spend a few day in hell.

You have to ask yourself why do you want perfect body when imperfection sometimes leads to more beauty or handsomeness? thi9s is something for you to answer, not me or anyone else. I don't have the perfect body but I have the body I am happy with. OMG I have some freckles on my shoulder. I have a couple of beauty marks. I have one on one boob and another under the other boob. No one is perfect Veronica and if you try to be you will drive yourself crazy. So whether you are the perfect replication of Hermes or Aphrodite or a combination of the two don't matter. Or just you how you are. Just go with it so n matter what you are perfection as your are. You need to lose weight? Eat less. You need to gain weight? Eat more. Trying to make it go where you want it to go is a little more difficult though. But if not screw it. Be who you are. One or the other or a combination of the two. You are you. No one can tell you who you are except you. You have to decied one or the other or a combination and screw everyone else that thinks otherwise. Only you can define you. No one else.

[Leena]

Feb 26, 2015 13:04:00 GMT 8 @jamie said:

I would rather face death and come back as the real me. I do believe in reincarnation but if I commit suicide then I will have to repeat this bullshit lesson which is being male with a female mind.  Oh I could deal with it. I could deal with it with HRT and still pass hopefully or probably. I could even deal with it with HRT and SRS and pass the lesson. But for some reason I want to suffer. I don't know why. But walking through hell for me is just a walk in the park. It does give me some inspiration or desperation in a creative capacity. Hell don't scare me and heaven don't even inspire me. It does sound messed up but never claimed to be right mentally even. maybe some of us need to dance on the edge of the blade to help others. To be honest I don't know how much I can help someone else when I can't even help my ownself.  But if I ever do then maybe Karma may smile a little on me. But that isn't why. I could give a shit less about me. I figure I will be quite warm in the afterlife. But if I can make one other person see that being trans is not a bad thing then that is a good thing. I will still be really warm but it isn't for me.

Honestly if being trans is a sin the I will gladly burn for everyone else. I personally think we are way above the average person but if not I will sacrifice m own soul for everyone that feels trans So lay your so called sin on my soul. I personally think it is more a blessing than a sin. Even Christ had a burden to bear. Can we bear this one we all have. Sometimes I can and sometimes I can't Sometimes I falter and spend a few day in hell.

You have to ask yourself why do you want perfect body when imperfection sometimes leads to more beauty or handsomeness? thi9s is something for you to answer, not me or anyone else. I don't have the perfect body but I have the body I am happy with. OMG I have some freckles on my shoulder. I have a couple of beauty marks. I have one on one boob and another under the other boob. No one is perfect Veronica and if you try to be you will drive yourself crazy. So whether you are the perfect replication of Hermes or Aphrodite or a combination of the two don't matter. Or just you how you are. Just go with it so n matter what you are perfection as your are. You need to lose weight? Eat less. You need to gain weight? Eat more. Trying to make it go where you want it to go is a little more difficult though. But if not screw it. Be who you are. One or the other or a combination of the two. You are you. No one can tell you who you are except you. You have to decied one or the other or a combination and screw everyone else that thinks otherwise. Only you can define you. No one else.

I don't think trans is being a bad thing. The most important thing to me is that I don't find some way to drink even more than I have been and also distract myself in such a way that I go back into denial. It is harder to do that having spent quite awhile here and that other place, and having the wardrobe I now have.

If there's female bodybuilders, and there are quite a few, why can't I be a non-binary bodybuilder? What perfection is in that category is of course, not really defined, but for me, I just want my body to look the best it can be, without either HRT or steroids…and that body is of the basically ectomorph type, which is rarely overweight, or very muscular, but a diet of an 18 pack of beer everyday with everything else fast food for years, that's 5000+ calories a day, it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise that even an ectomorph type would get fat doing that…but it was the first time, because it happened so slowly...

That I got myself down to a decent size, and was able to party on the weekends hard, had lots of girls flirting with me, and let it go because I wanted to party every day, and still eat fast food most of the time, was a personal failing. I really just want to get back to looking like that again, not perfection. I've had some really huge weight swings in my life, several times now, and it really does matter, in the way one is treated. 

I know what I can expect from this body, and it might even be a bit less now that I'm older, but despite all of this, I'm reasonably healthy, and there's no reason I can't get down to a reasonable size, though it still won't be easy…and I still would prefer to look like I did as a teenager, though that was super thin…and I'm not sure I can get there again...

I have more freckles on my shoulders and back than you could count, they don't bother me at all…I'm not after society's idea of perfection, just the best I can do with this body..and I am still trans, because how I feel inside is separate from how I feel I need to present...

[Deleted]

Feb 26, 2015 14:11:14 GMT 8 Leena said:

I don't think trans is being a bad thing. The most important thing to me is that I don't find some way to drink even more than I have been and also distract myself in such a way that I go back into denial. It is harder to do that having spent quite awhile here and that other place, and having the wardrobe I now have.

If there's female bodybuilders, and there are quite a few, why can't I be a non-binary bodybuilder? What perfection is in that category is of course, not really defined, but for me, I just want my body to look the best it can be, without either HRT or steroids…and that body is of the basically ectomorph type, which is rarely overweight, or very muscular, but a diet of an 18 pack of beer everyday with everything else fast food for years, that's 5000+ calories a day, it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise that even an ectomorph type would get fat doing that…but it was the first time, because it happened so slowly...

That I got myself down to a decent size, and was able to party on the weekends hard, had lots of girls flirting with me, and let it go because I wanted to party every day, and still eat fast food most of the time, was a personal failing. I really just want to get back to looking like that again, not perfection. I've had some really huge weight swings in my life, several times now, and it really does matter, in the way one is treated. 

I know what I can expect from this body, and it might even be a bit less now that I'm older, but despite all of this, I'm reasonably healthy, and there's no reason I can't get down to a reasonable size, though it still won't be easy…and I still would prefer to look like I did as a teenager, though that was super thin…and I'm not sure I can get there again...

I have more freckles on my shoulders and back than you could count, they don't bother me at all…I'm not after society's idea of perfection, just the best I can do with this body..and I am still trans, because how I feel inside is separate from how I feel I need to present...

I can pretty much relate to your comments here because I have always had two kinds of personalities, one was entirely too serious and type A and at times I would find relief from that by being a "party hearty" outgoing referred to as "Mr. Excitement" which some people find attractive, but alas I have come to wear the results of all those excesses on my body. Most of my life has been a yo-yo weight gain and loss experience. My big drinking days are over which was one of the biggest sources of excess calories and if I do anything it would entail no more than a couple of shots of 70 proof vodka which is 40% alcohol and 100 calories per shot in a calorie free mixer. I'll send you a PM that will be helpful! 

[Deleted]

Feb 26, 2015 14:11:14 GMT 8 Leena said:

Feb 26, 2015 13:04:00 GMT 8 @jamie said:

I would rather face death and come back as the real me. I do believe in reincarnation but if I commit suicide then I will have to repeat this bullshit lesson which is being male with a female mind.  Oh I could deal with it. I could deal with it with HRT and still pass hopefully or probably. I could even deal with it with HRT and SRS and pass the lesson. But for some reason I want to suffer. I don't know why. But walking through hell for me is just a walk in the park. It does give me some inspiration or desperation in a creative capacity. Hell don't scare me and heaven don't even inspire me. It does sound messed up but never claimed to be right mentally even. maybe some of us need to dance on the edge of the blade to help others. To be honest I don't know how much I can help someone else when I can't even help my ownself.  But if I ever do then maybe Karma may smile a little on me. But that isn't why. I could give a shit less about me. I figure I will be quite warm in the afterlife. But if I can make one other person see that being trans is not a bad thing then that is a good thing. I will still be really warm but it isn't for me.

Honestly if being trans is a sin the I will gladly burn for everyone else. I personally think we are way above the average person but if not I will sacrifice m own soul for everyone that feels trans So lay your so called sin on my soul. I personally think it is more a blessing than a sin. Even Christ had a burden to bear. Can we bear this one we all have. Sometimes I can and sometimes I can't Sometimes I falter and spend a few day in hell.

You have to ask yourself why do you want perfect body when imperfection sometimes leads to more beauty or handsomeness? thi9s is something for you to answer, not me or anyone else. I don't have the perfect body but I have the body I am happy with. OMG I have some freckles on my shoulder. I have a couple of beauty marks. I have one on one boob and another under the other boob. No one is perfect Veronica and if you try to be you will drive yourself crazy. So whether you are the perfect replication of Hermes or Aphrodite or a combination of the two don't matter. Or just you how you are. Just go with it so n matter what you are perfection as your are. You need to lose weight? Eat less. You need to gain weight? Eat more. Trying to make it go where you want it to go is a little more difficult though. But if not screw it. Be who you are. One or the other or a combination of the two. You are you. No one can tell you who you are except you. You have to decied one or the other or a combination and screw everyone else that thinks otherwise. Only you can define you. No one else.

I don't think trans is being a bad thing. The most important thing to me is that I don't find some way to drink even more than I have been and also distract myself in such a way that I go back into denial. It is harder to do that having spent quite awhile here and that other place, and having the wardrobe I now have.

If there's female bodybuilders, and there are quite a few, why can't I be a non-binary bodybuilder? What perfection is in that category is of course, not really defined, but for me, I just want my body to look the best it can be, without either HRT or steroids…and that body is of the basically ectomorph type, which is rarely overweight, or very muscular, but a diet of an 18 pack of beer everyday with everything else fast food for years, that's 5000+ calories a day, it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise that even an ectomorph type would get fat doing that…but it was the first time, because it happened so slowly...

That I got myself down to a decent size, and was able to party on the weekends hard, had lots of girls flirting with me, and let it go because I wanted to party every day, and still eat fast food most of the time, was a personal failing. I really just want to get back to looking like that again, not perfection. I've had some really huge weight swings in my life, several times now, and it really does matter, in the way one is treated. 

I know what I can expect from this body, and it might even be a bit less now that I'm older, but despite all of this, I'm reasonably healthy, and there's no reason I can't get down to a reasonable size, though it still won't be easy…and I still would prefer to look like I did as a teenager, though that was super thin…and I'm not sure I can get there again...

I have more freckles on my shoulders and back than you could count, they don't bother me at all…I'm not after society's idea of perfection, just the best I can do with this body..and I am still trans, because how I feel inside is separate from how I feel I need to present...

I don't realy think being trans is a bad thing either until the dysphoria hits at times and thank god its not a constant thing. Most times I'm perfectly happy with who I am and so on. But just those few times when the dysphoria hits It is rock freakin' bottom it feels like. Maybe it's TMS, our version of PMS . But when those times hit, I'm just in a funk for a couple or three days. 

[Patty]

I guess I am just simple. To be loved,accepted,respected or at least tolerated by those I know and meet.My needs have not really changed with transition nor have I really, except, that now I can and always do represent myself as the woman I was all my life in my heart.No heavy thinking here just reality on my part, I have been blessed. Patty

[Ayla]

Feb 28, 2015 11:06:24 GMT 8 Patty said:

I guess I am just simple. To be loved,accepted,respected or at least tolerated by those I know and meet.My needs have not really changed with transition nor have I really, except, that now I can and always do represent myself as the woman I was all my life in my heart.No heavy thinking here just reality on my part, I have been blessed. Patty

Patty

I feel the same way.   Once shelter, food,  personal safety and health are taken care of I am not needy by nature, but I do wish to be recognised for who I am, to be respected, even appreciated, and perhaps even loved by those who are most important to me.

I don't enjoy occurring to someone as someone other than myself.  Being MTNB is a touch tricky as many physical, emotional and presentation changes can be misread ..  but I do value, rather than need, folk to connect with and understand me as a person and not at a superficial level.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Edge]

From other people, I need to be seen as and treated like an equal. I need to be accepted and wanted. Not by everyone. A few people will do.
From myself, I need to be true to myself and stand up for myself.