when boundaries crack and the wife says it's over

[Deleted]

The price I am told I must pay for going to far is the one thing that mattered.

I am.screwed please pray hard that I can reset.

It was my deepest fear, now it's here.

This isn't fair, I didn't ask for this.

I cannot even believe it.

I need sj right now.  

I will let you know off if went past the point of no return.

I don't want to start over, I don't want to lose everything  because of dysphoria.

I feel sick.

[Laura J]

Your all in my prayers right now.
Bless you my dear.

[EchelonHunt]

We are here for you.
Thinking of you, Fairy.

Cuddles,
Jacey

[Deleted]

Jan 24, 2015 21:17:59 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

Call me sweetie.  So in your heart of hearts did you know this was coming?  This isn't likely to be her final word you know.  Are you willing to forsake authenticity?  Can you?  In my life this was the point where I ended up sick on myself in a parking garage and you all pulled me back.  But the cost was, as I knew it would be, my marriage, and some of my family. All because I wouldn't, couldn't go back to being the dude whose picture I posted yesterday.

Breathe. I love you,
Julie

I will do whatever is required to preserve the this marriage.  Authenticity is in the heart, and I am authentic Nonbinary with deep feelings about being a husband and Minimizing collateral damage, whatever it takes.

[Deleted]

Princess of the double post.

We are talking, about loneliness, dreams. I am handing her the scissors in a few minutes. But asking her to cut it so I can stand it and she can too.

Julie your comment is appreciated. In my heart of hearts, under the fear, is faith and love.

I can do this.

Prayers are most appreciated.

She loves sj, not Satinjoy. But trinity may win a in the end, and Sh'e is truly authentic.

It's different Julie. I can do things other mtfs find impossible. The answers are in the core she married.

Hurts yes. But not like loneliness would.

Love to all of you.

Blessings

Trinity Satin Joy

[Deleted]

Jan 25, 2015 0:07:07 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Princess of the double post.

We are talking, about loneliness, dreams. I am handing her the scissors in a few minutes. But asking her to cut it so I can stand it and she can too.

Julie your comment is appreciated. In my heart of hearts, under the fear, is faith and love.

I can do this.

Prayers are most appreciated.

She loves sj, not Satinjoy. But trinity may win a in the end, and Sh'e is truly authentic.

It's different Julie. I can do things other mtfs find impossible. The answers are in the core she married.

Hurts yes. But not like loneliness would.

Love to all of you.

Blessings

Trinity Satin Joy

Hang in there hon, the ball is in your end of the court now!

[Deleted]

Negotiations and New boundaries set. Life on life's terms.

She got the sizzorssand back of my hair. I get the sides and can flip it to female alone.

She got a closed robe and me covering up the lingerie. I get the lingerie evennhidden, and my legs exposed.

She got frozen progression, so did I.

She got her Sj. I kept my woman.

The forum.keeps me, and I keep my home.

The nails are tougher. We will see.

This my gift to her. Satinjoy I give to me, inside, and behind locked doors.

Thanks for the prayers and the year of support so far.

Trinity.

And this is the one we call the old actor, Sj.. not easy for me to accept, but I have respect for this guy's guts.

[Deleted]

Jan 25, 2015 3:35:02 GMT 8 Trinity said:

And this is the one we call the old actor, Sj.. not easy for me to accept, but I have respect for this guy's guts.

Me too!

[Taka]

you're still my fairy. i won't ever let you escape...

with my odd form of gender blindness, i don't really see much other than you even in that guy.
doesn't look "male" to me.
you could try to keep your nails at 2-3mm length? i prefer shorter nails even on women, the long ones look scary. deadly.
but keep long ones if you need them. we all need some little odd things to remind us who we are when almost the whole world tries to tell us differently.

(but you're still so pretty. beautiful. try smiling a little?)

did you know there are women who pretend masculinity to get anywhere at all in a man's world?
you could just be one of those. your crossdressing skills are great though, some people might be fooled by your appearance.

[Deleted]

So bought her half a dozen red roses, took her to buy Chinese food, a big treat since we struggle a bit. She sais I shouldn't have spent the money on roses, I sparked and told her not to criticize a gift.

As I brought in the groceries I heard my daughter ask her about the roses. She didn't see me...

She said I gave them to her..
There was a tone in her voice I know well.

She was bragging that her husband still brings her roses.

She was depressed, so was I. We sensed a spirit, one I have felt before, it is evil. We prayed together, I took it, handed the thing over to my boss, the one who protects me. It left.

Satinjoy has been through a lot this week. This forum keeps her alive. So does more. Nobody values her except here, and my dear Taka, you always say exactly what she needs.

The hair I had her cut special. It's sprayed back, shake the head and bring down the sides and the change hits, I'll show it later.

I have always said in marriages that involve gender dysphoria that if a balance can be found where each can equally sacrifice and longsuffer, that diamond tightrope is the only way it can work. Feet may bleed but hearts can still soar, eyes always up, looking to the Son.

I hope tonight is candles, incense and satin.

For tonight, my families way of life is preserved.

Love to all here.

Sj...for trinity, and for Satinjoy. We are one...

[Deleted]

But I remain she.  Both are me.

[Deleted]

We finisjhed my haircut for the wife and kids.

This was the end result, and I'll keep it.

Patty's rather intense comment on the suicide thread sealed the deal. She's right.

Looks like I am going to be living three life presentations, home, social, and private.

Many thanks. This pic has that smile.

[Taka]

nice smile.
i like the colors too.
but you look a little worried about something. i wonder what it may be.

so you have to cut your hair for the wife.
i keep cutting my hair to find some peace of mind.
that never lasts long. my hair is getting too long, at the same time as it isn't long enough.
hair is never easy, not even for people who can choose their own haircut...

[Deleted]

Jan 25, 2015 8:45:51 GMT 8 Trinity said:

So bought her half a dozen red roses, took her to buy Chinese food, a big treat since we struggle a bit. She sais I shouldn't have spent the money on roses, I sparked and told her not to criticize a gift.

As I brought in the groceries I heard my daughter ask her about the roses. She didn't see me...

She said I gave them to her..
There was a tone in her voice I know well.

She was bragging that her husband still brings her roses.
Kudos!

The hair I had her cut special. It's sprayed back, shake the head and bring down the sides and the change hits, I'll show it later.
It's only hair, it will grow back if and when you really think it's all that necessary. Keep smelling those roses hon!

[Ellie]

From strength to strength Trinity, sj, Satinjoy. The inner eye sees what is really there, I look through it often myself. I understand the sacrifice for shalom bayit, but if you can take some small comfort in this: the fairy still lives in my world, no matter how anyone sees h'er
hugs,
-ellie