Pushing yourself

[Leena]

Today I made a big step and went out not totally en femme, but wearing women's bermuda shorts and a very feminine cut T-shirt, though it was technically from the men's department. No one seemed to notice, or pay any attention, much less threaten me. 

A little backstory, in case you haven't read some of my other posts, I stopped being in denial that I am trans a few years ago, when I was between jobs, bought a bunch of clothes and makeup online, and was a full time crossdresser, except I never left the house. I eventually did take a job, and have to dress in male business casual, and I've went a bit androgynous with that, mostly wearing dark Calvin Klein stuff, though until today I still hadn't went out in broad daylight even close to femme.

I don't want to be an only at home crossdresser any more. I am basically a woman. There is a reason I identify as genderfluid though, but my masculine flips have been less troubling as of late.  

I'm thinking I need to go out more like this, wearing women's clothes that almost look like mens. This seems like a good next step. I don't really know what I'm doing, but I do know I don't want to be agoraphobic if/while I transition and certainly not after. Any thoughts?   

[Deleted]

Once you lose the fear and do it a while you will see what feels authentic and comfortable in public. Alone is one thing, but out you experience it all. Once the adrenaline fades, you can choose.

Crossdressed or revalation of a part of you or the whole of you? Outside you will find that out as you pay attention to the music of your personal gender.

Feel it, all of it. No chems or booze, just raw. truth will speak and you will learn more of your core and self expression.

Best wishes

Trinity Satin Joy

[Deleted]

Sept 13, 2015 20:04:51 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Once you lose the fear and do it a while you will see what feels authentic and comfortable in public. Alone is one thing, but out you experience it all. Once the adrenaline fades, you can choose.

Crossdressed or revalation of a part of you or the whole of you? Outside you will find that out as you pay attention to the music of your personal gender.

Feel it, all of it. No chems or booze, just raw. truth will speak and you will learn more of your core and self expression.

Best wishes

Trinity Satin Joy

Trinity is right. If you can go out dressed En Femme without a little "extra courage" then you got it goin' on. More gender non specific is a little more comfortable.

Sometimes though and the old saying holds pretty true that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Just make sure that you find a comfort zone and then push it ever so slightly. If you go all out then that will shock most people especially yourself. You get too far out of your comfort zone and then start feeling self conscious then other's pick up on that. The more comfortable you are with yourself the less people care.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2015 2:11:45 GMT 8 @jamie said:

Sept 13, 2015 20:04:51 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Once you lose the fear and do it a while you will see what feels authentic and comfortable in public. Alone is one thing, but out you experience it all. Once the adrenaline fades, you can choose.

Crossdressed or revalation of a part of you or the whole of you? Outside you will find that out as you pay attention to the music of your personal gender.

Feel it, all of it. No chems or booze, just raw. truth will speak and you will learn more of your core and self expression.

Best wishes

Trinity Satin Joy

Trinity is right. If you can go out dressed En Femme without a little "extra courage" then you got it goin' on. More gender non specific is a little more comfortable.

Sometimes though and the old saying holds pretty true that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Just make sure that you find a comfort zone and then push it ever so slightly. If you go all out then that will shock most people especially yourself. You get too far out of your comfort zone and then start feeling self conscious then other's pick up on that. The more comfortable you are with yourself the less people care.

Yup.  This.  Totally.  She nailed it.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2015 2:52:53 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Sept 14, 2015 2:11:45 GMT 8 @jamie said:

Trinity is right. If you can go out dressed En Femme without a little "extra courage" then you got it goin' on. More gender non specific is a little more comfortable.

Sometimes though and the old saying holds pretty true that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Just make sure that you find a comfort zone and then push it ever so slightly. If you go all out then that will shock most people especially yourself. You get too far out of your comfort zone and then start feeling self conscious then other's pick up on that. The more comfortable you are with yourself the less people care.

Yup.  This.  Totally.  She nailed it.

Thanx Trinity. That was actually a brain fart.  Because you do know me.

[Leena]

Although I haven't entirely quit drinking, I was sober yesterday, and I was sober when I went out again today wearing classic cut women's jeans and a plain black unisex T-shirt. Went shopping trying to find a few more things in this sort of style. Went to several malls and discount stores. Really, the hardest thing was trying to find things in this style. I forgot what I was wearing a few times. I saw several people who's look was far more shocking than mine, no one really paid that much attention to me or them really. I am going to push this comfort zone more and more.

[Deleted]

Nobody ever reacts to my jeans, i wear both cuts, mens for hard labor to preserve my womens jeans, and female at rest. Loose silk or tight when socializing, loose cotton dress shirt and a suitcoat while male in stealth or warrior mode.

Nobody says a word. But i wonder who checks out my ass, and did enjoy male eye drops when wearing silks.

Explore my dear. They may not react or notice, but you sure will. And you will most likely like it.

Yeah i still want rawhide laced warm shirts and they arent easy to find. Thrift stores. Trans playgrounds.

Trinity

[Leena]

It's funny in some ways that I place so much emphasis on which side of the store my shorts and jeans came from, when I've been wearing men's skinny jeans, some almost painted on, for the last few years, and men's almost short shorts occasionally this summer. I surely have drawn more stares wearing those than what I wore last weekend, which most people didn't even notice.

[EchelonHunt]

This thread is very relevant to my feelings most days. I want to push my comfort zone, try wearing more feminine clothing. The feminine aspect of my identity feels deprived, the rare occasions of being dressed up at LGBT nightclubs is not sufficient enough.

[Leena]

I've continued to wear these style outfits out and picked up a few more in this more femme androgynous style. No one seemed to notice until today at the grocery store, that for whatever reason, there was only one line. The old guy in front of me just kept staring at me. I guess that is one aspect of this I will just have to get used to.

[Deleted]

Dear Veronica. Maybe he just thought you were hot!

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2015 12:20:46 GMT 8 Leena said:

Although I haven't entirely quit drinking, I was sober yesterday, and I was sober when I went out again today wearing classic cut women's jeans and a plain black unisex T-shirt. Went shopping trying to find a few more things in this sort of style. Went to several malls and discount stores. Really, the hardest thing was trying to find things in this style. I forgot what I was wearing a few times. I saw several people who's look was far more shocking than mine, no one really paid that much attention to me or them really. I am going to push this comfort zone more and more.

Damn. How about a little hint? In the US even?

That is cool though. But really the more comfortable or normal you act, the less people will notice. Also the less flamboyant you are, the less people will notice. People will notice if you more or less dare them too. Too much is too far and too less is not far enough.

Shit I go out with shorter shorts than guys wear. I hate the freaking men's shorts and might as well wear capris. What the hell kind of tan can you get when your shorts come below you knees? So my shorts are a little tighter and are mid thigh or a tiny bit shorter than guy shorts.

Push it girl but just stay within your comfort zone but push it. You can push it until people look or ever little bit until you get to where you are comfortable. I tended to like it when people looked. I would just look back or stare back. But now people in this little big town know me so... I am old news or people really just don't give a fuck. Either way I could give a fart less. When I do go places people seem to remember my name. I need a script filled and turn it in and pick it up later, they call me to the front by name. I go to a restaurant, usually the hostess will call me and my party for a table pretty quick. Yeah some people say some dumb shit but dumb people are all around the world. The ones that may call me a little queer or faggot or sissy under there breath are the same ones that think calling a woman a bitch is cool. Or talking lightly but where their friends could hear and others, what they would like for her to do to them  So... We sort of made it. But don't worry too much about them though. They are just asses and most people see them that way.

Push it but only push it to what you are comfortable with. Slow but sure wins the race. You will win eventually. We all find that special space eventually. Just take it slow and easy and at your own pace. As much as some of us would give everything to go to sleep one gender tonight and wake up the other in the morning, shit don't work like that.

I gotta' go downtown day after tomorrow and think I will dress pretty girly just to see. A little makeup and light lipstick to see if my dad even notices when I take him on his appointment. He may notice but in downtown New Orleans I bet not to many will actually care. If so, oh well. It's so fucking time already. Fuck. Last time we went to the same appointment which is constant, there was a trans woman there and just another normal woman.

[Leena]

I think he might have, I may not be all that prepared to deal with that, but it is something cis-women have to deal with all the time.

Jamie, there I was all concerned about wearing what I was wearing when someone walks by wearing a mohawk and a goatee, and hot pink capris and a pastel pink tank, and I think I was the only one who even noticed them. The younger generation is so self absorbed and glued to their cell phones, I don't know if they'd notice if I walked through the store naked. Not going to try that, but I might just wear a skirt someday…

I hate the current styling of men's shorts though I've found a few shorter ones this summer. I totally miss some of the men's styles that were available in the 80's.

[Deleted]

Sept 22, 2015 12:43:24 GMT 8 Leena said:

I think he might have, I may not be all that prepared to deal with that, but it is something cis-women have to deal with all the time.

Jamie, there I was all concerned about wearing what I was wearing when someone walks by wearing a mohawk and a goatee, and hot pink capris and a pastel pink tank, and I think I was the only one who even noticed them. The younger generation is so self absorbed and glued to their cell phones, I don't know if they'd notice if I walked through the store naked. Not going to try that, but I might just wear a skirt someday…

I hate the current styling of men's shorts though I've found a few shorter ones this summer. I totally miss some of the men's styles that were available in the 80's.

LOL. It seems the more self conscious we are about ourselves, we tend to notice others. Or I do anyway. But that sounds pretty normally dressed in some places I've been too.

Ain't that the truth about the younger generation on the cellphones. But it's kind of sad because even the older generations seem to be more absorbed on their cellphones too. I don't know about walking through a store naked though because it may go viral on youtube.

As for the shorts, it kind of hurts when I watch national Lampoon's Vacation when Clark and rusty were racing to the Wally World gate. Clark Griswold's shorts were just about the right length that I like. That was in the 70's though and could have done without the hairy legs. But still, shorts that length is just about right for me. I have found some shorter ones this year for guys and hopefully the trend keeps going that direction. Hell when it's hot, the shorter the shorts, the cooler it is. I just really don't know how they can call shorts shorts that come down to your ankles even though they are loose. Hell even denim shorts at knee length, I'll take my cutoffs any day.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Watch old Magnum PI if you want to see shorts. I used to wear cut-offs that the pockets were longer in the late 60's.
If shorts like that ever come back, I just might let my hairless legs get a tan on them again.