Daily non binary problems.

[Taka]

Nov 23, 2014 13:24:24 GMT 8 @jamie said:

I don't know if it's really a problem or not but kind of messed up? Confusing? I don't know. Two days ago I got called sir. No big deal dressed as a guy, then the same day two hours later got a wolf whistled while taking the garbage out to the road. right next to me and not 50 feet away. But cut offs and a pink tank. With some 2 inch wedge type flip flops, pink and white of course to match the tank.

So what am I?

amazing, amusing, great.
possibly human, probably attractive.
a friend and family member.
two in one or more, what people see is less than what they get.

though most accurately, you are you.

[Edge]

Nov 21, 2014 4:05:29 GMT 8 Taka said:

i have no problems with even naked human bodies.

Same with me. I don't get why people are so hung up about them.

When I do dream, it is often as a character or several (I'll switch in the same dream) that is not me, but someone I play and whose eyes I see through. They can and have been any gender. When I do dream as myself, I don't really notice my gender, but I guess I'm kind of an androgyne? What I'm usually much more aware of is that I am never human in these dreams. A few times, I've dreamt of myself as a trans man and I think I was dreaming of specifically being trans instead of a regular man because transition is something that is going on in my life.

Problems I have had are usually centred around people getting gender stereotypes confused with gender. I am wary of telling people I sometimes identify as an androgyne or as male and female because I'm used to getting the annoying assumption from people that this means I am effeminate. While I do have some traits that tend to be labelled as "effeminate," that has nothing to do with my gender.

[Laura J]

I wish my wife wore the same size as me.?

I mean that would solve all of my problems whether I felt like looking very male, or wanted to express a bit of femininity.?

Instead of His and Hers closets, we'd just have "The Closet".?? Hehe, wouldn't that be cool.???

[Patty]

Nov 29, 2014 3:23:42 GMT 8 Laura J said:

I wish my wife wore the same size as me.?

I mean that would solve all of my problems whether I felt like looking very male, or wanted to express a bit of femininity.?

Instead of His and Hers closets, we'd just have "The Closet".?? Hehe, wouldn't that be cool.???

  Kathy and I have a "THE CLOSET" everything is fair  game to whom ever gets there first. Makes it kind of fun in a way as we both have the same taste in clothes, "Early Goodwill".     Patty

[Taka]

i had a boyfriend once who used my clothes sometimes.
we occasionally looked like a lesbian couple.

i and my youngest brother often steal each other's clothes.
"that's my t-shirt," he says.
"yeah, i know. and that shirt is mine..."

[Edge]

Heh. That reminds me of my ex. Apparently, he kept stealing the clothes of the girlfriend he had after me. She wasn't too pleased because he kept stretching them out and requested that he get his own.

[Ayla]

Well on the weekend I was at a bbq and was wearing shorts and a short sleeved shirt. There was the usual good natured ribbing about my lengthening hair and then a friend grabbed my forearm to make a point. Se stopped, looked, rubbed my arm and said "God your arms are so smooth, and so are your legs. Then she pretty much screamed it out and interrupted the entire table's conversation. I said "shut up, I will talk to you in a moment." Luckily no one pursued it. A little later I found a quiet spot and came out to my friend as non binary. Her first comment was "but you are still a guy"; second comment was "what does (your wife) think? She shouldn't have a problem, should she, as you are still the same person?"; the third comment was "I am going through menopause and I have to have hrt, if you need it I know that you wont be able to live without it."

Three quick fire comments. The first left me floored and I need to revisit this at a better time; while the other comments were great. My wife, who fiercely protects her privacy guessed what had happened and she said that she was ok with another friend knowing what was going on.

I guess it was a case of 2 steps forward, one step back.

Then on Monday I had a drink with a female colleague (mid 20's) as I felt that I needed to share who I was due to feeling that I was being inauthentic with her, in the sense that she was assuming a lot about me that was untrue. She was at first surprised. Then she asked if I was ok. Then asked after my wife and how she was handling it. Then a question as to which family members I had told and how many folk in the office knew. After that it was multiple questions to understand my lived experience, the thinking re causes and treatment of trans etc. She thanked me for sharing and then sought another time for a drink so that she could share more as to who she was. She said that her friends were not particularly open and that she would appreciate the opportunity to share her thoughts etc with me. Made me feel quite privileged and a whole lot closer in terms of relationship etc. Is this how girl friends share or this normal between males and females once they start to act authentically and seek to be present for each other?

Safe travels

Aisla

[Whisper]

biggest problem for me is deciding what to wear. my closet is full of different stuff; masculine, feminine, androgynous. i like to color coordinate as best as possible, be it lime green, salmon, neutral, purple, or such. purples, greens, blacks, whites, and grays fill my closet the most.
decisions... decisions...

[Edge]

One of my biggest problems (the other being the stereotype one) is people thinking I am somehow less of a man (I mean gender, not stereotypes although I have problems with that too) just because there is more. I have this problem even with other non-binary people.