mirror, mirror on the wall...

[Deleted]

How much do like what you see in the mirror?

I used to hate it. Unless crossdressed, or having sex, or both...

As male, wasn't bad till I crashed. Then it got really bad.

Nearly two years into hrt and therapy and a year on the boards, now, if I am blended, I smile when I see myself.

And it gets bigger as I disrobe. I suspect both jayce and I are like that, as I usually am presenting genderqueer with male shirts and pants. Outside, hot lingerie inside. And now I have curves...

mirror mirror is no longer so hurtful.

And try the ..I love you...into it at yourself.

I could only say ....I respect you... to that reflection.

Now, I say ...I love you,... it's easy, and I mean it.

Mirror mirror on your wall...what do you see or feel?

I see the real me, all of me now, without mind games.

Mirror mirror...what do you see? Mirror mirror...how do you feel...

[Edge]

Before I realized that I'm trans, I used to objectively like what I saw in the mirror, but felt disconnected from it.
Once I realized I was trans, I hated what I saw in the mirror a lot of the time. Once I cut my hair, I hated what I saw in the mirror all the time. I looked like a butch woman or a ten year old boy.
Now, after a year and a half on T and about a year growing my hair out, I look in the mirror and I like who I see more often. I'm not quite there yet, I don't think, but I'm a lot closer and I can see that I will be eventually.
That's only when I have clothes on though.

[Deleted]

I'm usually not that thrilled with my mirror image because I'm not a good looking person to begin with so I don't spend a lot of time primping because what's the point? Getting older just makes it worse, a mirror is a constant reminder, so I don't do mirrors and photos often for those reasons.

[Laura J]

Sometimes it's okay, but I always zone in instantly to what I see are faults, and that brings me down almost as fast..

I wish I looked like I smell.. I know that sounds weird..? I found the most fabulous perfume I use everyday, I think I could bathe in it and be in heaven.
It makes me imagine myself as I wish I was sometimes.

Then I see a mirror...
Dream-Over...

[Ayla]

The irony here is that when acting as a a binary alpha male I was told that I was handsome but couldn't see it

Now I am told that I should never have had ffs etc by some (who desire the old image) but after nearly 5 yrs of low dose, beard removal etc and longer hair I am finally starting to see me. I recognize and like the person I see in the mirror

I know that I will never be even close to my avatar but I will continue to focus on the positives and celebrate every sign of progress. So all good and only getting better and becoming more authentic

Safe travels

Aisla

[Deleted]

Mar 9, 2015 14:56:23 GMT 8 Ayla said:

The irony here is that when acting as a a binary alpha male I was told that I was handsome but couldn't see it

Now I am told that I should never had ffs etc by some (who desire the old image) but after nearly 5 yrs of low dose, beard removal etc and longer hair I am finally starting to see me. I recognize and like the person I see in the mirror

I know that I will never be even close to my avatar but I will continue to focus on the positives and celebrate every sign of progress. So all good and only getting better and becoming more authentic

Safe travels

Aisla

Why Aisla? You want pointy ears?

Seriously a lot of people when they look in the mirror are way more critical than others that see us. I know all my flaws. I see more of them than what others do in everyday life. Its almost like fixing your hair. Jesus Christ bad hair days? :rolleyes:When you finally get disgusted and say to hell with it and let it do whatever and then other's compliment you on your hair. They see something totally different than what I was focusing on in the mirror. So the Mirror Mirror on the wall can lie to us. Not really lie but we can see everything we feel is wrong about us. Believe me this isn't a trans thing either.

[bhhfmm]

I pretty much see what you see in the avatar. I don't know if anything will ever change that. tis life...

[Deleted]

Mar 10, 2015 2:03:19 GMT 8 bhhfmm said:

I pretty much see what you see in the avatar. I don't know if anything will ever change that. tis life...

Whose avatar Jaime? I have seen your picture and you have nothing to worry about. Well we are our own biggest critics but...

[bhhfmm]

Mar 10, 2015 2:55:29 GMT 8 @jamie said:

Mar 10, 2015 2:03:19 GMT 8 bhhfmm said:

I pretty much see what you see in the avatar. I don't know if anything will ever change that. tis life...

Whose avatar Jaime? I have seen your picture and you have nothing to worry about. Well we are our own biggest critics but...

you mean those pics of that old lady I stole off the net?

[Deleted]

Mar 10, 2015 3:00:41 GMT 8 bhhfmm said:

Mar 10, 2015 2:55:29 GMT 8 @jamie said:

Whose avatar Jaime? I have seen your picture and you have nothing to worry about. Well we are our own biggest critics but...

you mean those pics of that old lady I stole off the net?

Yeah Ok so you do know denial is a powerful tool. Don't cut yourself short. Old lady my butt. Don't give me that line of crap.

[Deleted]

Mar 10, 2015 3:10:43 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

What I see in the mirror parallels what I see in myself. When I am happy, I see beauty, when sad, I see wrinkles and disappointed eyes, When fearful I see the child who never fit. Today I choose to see happiness mostly. Funny, but when I look at your pictures, I uniformly see compassion and grace. Yes Shan, your's too and more than most.

J

So why sad you see the bad parts? Hell beauty has no age limits.

[Deleted]

Mar 10, 2015 3:31:39 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

Mar 10, 2015 3:22:35 GMT 8 @jamie said:

So why sad you see the bad parts? Hell beauty has no age limits.

Not bad parts sweetie, melancholy.  I have earned every wrinkle, I have been seasoned through time and struggle.  But to embrace myself is to embrace the little girl who was never allowed out.  She still looks back at me longingly and sometimes haunts my dreams.  Yesterday I spent some time doing Karaoke with a four year old who was dancing in her Frozen dress.  I never got to be her, but I do get to love her and her joy.

Julie

Yeah that does suck. You do get to love her and her joy so that is a good thing. For me no kids or grandkids ever. That my dear, count yourself lucky. You have luck that I don't have.

OK so my "little girl" was always out but you are still luckier than me. When I get into my 70's, well I can't make it that far. I won't let myself make it that far because there is no one to take care of me when I'm that old. I won't last that long anyway. I won't let myself get to like my dad now.

Count yourself lucky that you have kids. I guess I was never man or woman enough.

[Deleted]

Mar 10, 2015 3:59:15 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

Honey, there will be someone to take care of you even if you don't remember who we are.  Just try to get out of my life.  Sadly I just get to borrow Avea. When Donna finally leaves she will take Avea with her and has told me very clearly that I will not be a part of her life after that. No trans-bitch permitted. So I delight in the moment because that is all I am allowed.

Julie

Huh?

But no there will be no one but I don't expect to make it that far anyway.

Hell in the moment is all we have so bask in all it's glory.

[Deleted]

Mar 10, 2015 3:10:43 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

What I see in the mirror parallels what I see in myself. When I am happy, I see beauty, when sad, I see wrinkles and disappointed eyes, When fearful I see the child who never fit. Today I choose to see happiness mostly. Funny, but when I look at your pictures, I uniformly see compassion and grace. Yes Shan, your's too and more than most.

J

We all know that looks can be deceiving! 

[Deleted]

Mar 10, 2015 3:52:10 GMT 8 @jamie said:

Yeah that does suck. You do get to love her and her joy so that is a good thing. For me no kids or grandkids ever. That my dear, count yourself lucky. You have luck that I don't have.

OK so my "little girl" was always out but you are still luckier than me. When I get into my 70's, well I can't make it that far. I won't let myself make it that far because there is no one to take care of me when I'm that old. I won't last that long anyway. I won't let myself get to like my dad now.

Count yourself lucky that you have kids. I guess I was never man or woman enough.

Gee now that I'm approaching 72 and still in my youth at around 20+ years on HRT you young whipper-snappers are wagging your heads at being a little more mature and sedate huh? Let me know when your birthday is so some of us seniors can send you a rotten fish!