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Jul 29, 2022 6:47:09 GMT 8
940
Laura J
1,103
Nov 17, 2014 22:37:43 GMT 8
November 2014
mark
Human being
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Post by Laura J on Mar 1, 2015 8:33:30 GMT 8
So tonight I threw caution to the wind, no more playing with words with my wife.
Yes she was fine wish polished nails, and an earring, and a few other small things, but I was still very apprehensive about telling her everything in depth, using the trans word to her about me, that depth of sharing has been quite terrifying to me, knowing so many others whos marriages imploded with this knowledge.?
But TONIGHT was the big night for me.. We were both laying down, reading, and I was re reading the life stories topic, plus a more detailed bio that I wrote on my own, and I just blurted out, hunny do you want to read the bio I wrote about myself.????? Yikes.!!
So I opened my page, and gave her my tablet, and she read slowly, probably 2-3 times my whole story. Then the longer bio I wrote about my detailed gender feelings, which she spent another 15 minutes in silence reading and thinking..
So its done, I'm totally "OUT" now to everyone.. What a freakin load off my mind.!
And so far, so good, we talked about it a short time, and so far nothings changed, she just knows better why I'm doing the things I am, and seems fine with things.
It will be interesting in the days ahead what happens, and if this news affects her more in the days to come..? But everything feels fine right now. No more hiding, no more worrying..
Yay me.!
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May 20, 2020 11:46:45 GMT 8
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Patty
340
Nov 19, 2014 19:40:30 GMT 8
November 2014
patty
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Post by Patty on Mar 1, 2015 9:24:11 GMT 8
Mark I know the feeling well,I likened it to taking a brick off the pile on my head every time I told someone.There are no more bricks left to remove and you and I are FREE it is truly a wonderful feeling.Congratulations. Patty
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
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guest@proboards.com
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May 19, 2024 19:27:44 GMT 8
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May 19, 2024 19:27:44 GMT 8
January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2015 10:14:17 GMT 8
Good going Marko, honesty is the best policy with spouses!
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Metamorph
Full Member
What does this status thing do?
Posts: 245
Gender: FTM Non-Binary
Pronouns: He/His/Him
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Apr 23, 2015 9:35:51 GMT 8
187
Metamorph
What does this status thing do?
245
Nov 19, 2014 11:06:13 GMT 8
November 2014
metamorph
FTM Non-Binary
He/His/Him
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Post by Metamorph on Mar 1, 2015 10:36:33 GMT 8
I can't imagine how scary that was. Good job. I hope time brings geater understanding between the two of you.
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inherit
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Jul 29, 2022 6:47:09 GMT 8
940
Laura J
1,103
Nov 17, 2014 22:37:43 GMT 8
November 2014
mark
Human being
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Post by Laura J on Mar 1, 2015 13:29:46 GMT 8
Thanks so much. Yeah, after a while not being open with a partner becomes lying, or feels that way. Honesty really is the right way to go, I wish I'd been braver sooner, apparently it wasn't as big of a deal as I had made it out to be.?
Now nobody can out me by accident, nor do I have to watch what I say.
It feels much more normal now, and I can be just a little prouder of who I am now, that I don't have to hide anything from anybody.
Thanks again, non of this could have happened without you all. Literally..
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Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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guest@proboards.com
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May 19, 2024 19:27:44 GMT 8
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January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2015 18:18:41 GMT 8
Thanks so much. Yeah, after a while not being open with a partner becomes lying, or feels that way. Honesty really is the right way to go, I wish I'd been braver sooner, apparently it wasn't as big of a deal as I had made it out to be.? Now nobody can out me by accident, nor do I have to watch what I say. It feels much more normal now, and I can be just a little prouder of who I am now, that I don't have to hide anything from anybody. Thanks again, non of this could have happened without you all. Literally.. One of the "promises" of comng to complete peace with the whole of you is the end of deception, yours, and with others. Be gentle with her, she has a lot to process now. Communication, physical contact, and just living. I do wish you had a gender therapist to help guide you through this. Be sensitive to cues. The key question to ask, if presentation or behavior is changed or revealed, is whether you are in her comfort zone. If not, dial back. If ok, dont push it, let her get used to what she knows and what she sees. Good for you Mark. I was concerned, you have been rather quiet of late. Blessings Trinity
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May 20, 2020 11:46:45 GMT 8
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Patty
340
Nov 19, 2014 19:40:30 GMT 8
November 2014
patty
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Post by Patty on Mar 1, 2015 18:23:42 GMT 8
Thanks so much. Yeah, after a while not being open with a partner becomes lying, or feels that way. Honesty really is the right way to go, I wish I'd been braver sooner, apparently it wasn't as big of a deal as I had made it out to be.? Now nobody can out me by accident, nor do I have to watch what I say. It feels much more normal now, and I can be just a little prouder of who I am now, that I don't have to hide anything from anybody. Thanks again, non of this could have happened without you all. Literally.. Mark its called "FREEDOM " the freedom from fear of discovery by those we care for that may not understand . Patty
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Jul 29, 2022 6:47:09 GMT 8
940
Laura J
1,103
Nov 17, 2014 22:37:43 GMT 8
November 2014
mark
Human being
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Post by Laura J on Mar 2, 2015 4:19:43 GMT 8
Lol, I almost posted that old song "Free at last", Patty.! Yes, I'm being very careful to keep on living the same day to day way we have been, very gentle and being quiet giving her some time. I know you are right, and I want to see a therapist, hopefully not too long till I can. I still feel quite grounded and comfortable with everything, but I know it will help on ways I can't imagine. Yes, been quiet lately. Just resting and listening, I've had a lot of mind fog and haven't felt like posting. Thanks.
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Dani
Junior Member
Dani began a new chemical journey on 6-25-2014
Posts: 86
Gender: Female
Gender: Female wings unfolded, flight is now my nature.
Pronouns: She/Her
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Jan 23, 2017 15:48:14 GMT 8
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Dani
Dani began a new chemical journey on 6-25-2014
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Feb 15, 2015 13:31:44 GMT 8
February 2015
newgirldani
Female
Female wings unfolded, flight is now my nature.
She/Her
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Post by Dani on Mar 2, 2015 8:20:48 GMT 8
Amazing Mark,if I can use my revealing this same thing to my gf (not full on relationship type, more friendship/off-on sexual)as a yardstick, well I just cannot imagine. I know I just kinda sat there once I decided and felt all nervous like I was about to jump off a cliff. Wife, well that for me is the very definition of personal strength. Just too cool, thanks for sharing that. No shortage of strong people here. Dani
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inherit
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Jul 29, 2022 6:47:09 GMT 8
940
Laura J
1,103
Nov 17, 2014 22:37:43 GMT 8
November 2014
mark
Human being
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Post by Laura J on Mar 2, 2015 10:35:06 GMT 8
Thanks Dani. Well, I wanted this so bad. Maybe not as brave, as desperate.! Yes I know well that fear like standing at the edge of a cliff.. And once its out, there's no taking it back, thats terrifying also.
It is nice laying in bed with her, like right this minute we are, And being able to post here openly, even when she watches me, as she does her online stuff. And write poetry about the trans experience, or watch videos, and share with my soulmate is awesome.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
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guest@proboards.com
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May 19, 2024 19:27:44 GMT 8
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January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 3:04:42 GMT 8
Really Mark? Wow. Good for you. There is no other feeling like spilling your deepest secret to someone you love and not have them throwing shit at you and calling you all kinds of names.
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inherit
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Jul 29, 2022 6:47:09 GMT 8
940
Laura J
1,103
Nov 17, 2014 22:37:43 GMT 8
November 2014
mark
Human being
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Post by Laura J on Mar 3, 2015 9:35:33 GMT 8
Really Mark? Wow. Good for you. There is no other feeling like spilling your deepest secret to someone you love and not have them throwing shit at you and calling you all kinds of names. Yep, thats for sure..!! Now maybe she'll take me to the shoe store with her next time..!! lol
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
inherit
guest@proboards.com
3
0
May 19, 2024 19:27:44 GMT 8
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May 19, 2024 19:27:44 GMT 8
January 1970
Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 9:45:41 GMT 8
Really Mark? Wow. Good for you. There is no other feeling like spilling your deepest secret to someone you love and not have them throwing shit at you and calling you all kinds of names. Yep, thats for sure..!! Now maybe she'll take me to the shoe store with her next time..!! lol Take it slow and don't push the envelope too abruptly Mark.
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inherit
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Jul 29, 2022 6:47:09 GMT 8
940
Laura J
1,103
Nov 17, 2014 22:37:43 GMT 8
November 2014
mark
Human being
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Post by Laura J on Mar 3, 2015 11:38:49 GMT 8
We're cool Auntie shan..! She knows I like that stuff..
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
Deleted
inherit
guest@proboards.com
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May 19, 2024 19:27:44 GMT 8
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May 19, 2024 19:27:44 GMT 8
January 1970
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2015 3:35:01 GMT 8
We're cool Auntie shan..! She knows I like that stuff.. Remember what I said back a while ago? You spilled your guts so she may end up spilling hers. UGhh bad choice of words. :rolleyes:Ok so you let the cat out of the bag, so maybe she had a cat in the bag too. Does she act happy that you told her? None of my business though.
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