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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 0:04:41 GMT 8
My boss has a company wide function for valentines day.
She wants to address my changes publically and lay down the rules about employees not harassing or talking about me at work
That bullying will not be tolerated nor hate speech
She asked me for bullet points as she addresses this
Thoughts, in a hurry, its in 2 hours?
Suggestions for HER as to how to address the coworkers in the right way?
They really don't know what to do. And I don't either on this one.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 0:14:07 GMT 8
I'm really not sure, either, but I'd say just to be respectful as they would with a cis person, realise this is simply who you are, there's nothing wrong with it and there's no need to feel uncomfortable around you... Use the pronouns you prefer (if you have a preference?). You're just a person like anyone else. A very friendly and sweet person, who they'd all benefit by getting to know, in my opinion.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 0:15:26 GMT 8
That is basically what she was thinking...
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 1:23:54 GMT 8
Here goes. She is using it. It is being addressed now
Nicely done
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 1:27:15 GMT 8
Not to throw any cold water on the topic of conversation, but both of my sons each of whom had fright wig hairdo's and dressed in a way that made themselves unemployable complained to me that such discrimination in employment is against the law. My learned response was yes it is, but they do it anyway and when they fire you it will be for a totally unrelated reason so that you cannot sue them. It happens every day to lots of nice and very capable worker bees!
EDIT: Should have read the entire thread before posting. On another note, my Bro-in-law who manages a large nationwide company held an informational meeting for the company department heads in behalf of a transitioning employee complete with transgender legal resources, a few were obviously playing the bigot and he told them that he would be more than happy to accept their resignation on the spot if they continued to object. I was proud of him, but bottom line is that most companies prefer not to have to deal with unnecessary and costly litigation. That transitioner was later let go anyway due to a "department reorganization," my gut feeling that it was something else.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Feb 14, 2015 1:27:29 GMT 8
Fingers and toes crossed that all goes well. *huggles the Fairy*
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 1:40:56 GMT 8
Fingers and toes crossed that all goes well. *huggles the Fairy* Yes, keep your chin up and best wishes for success.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 1:55:26 GMT 8
She did a good job.
She Told them I was transgender (I had said that was ok, its obvious anyway)
She said the company was a family
That we all need to get along
That gossip will not be tolerated, that we need to all be better, to take the opportunity to change and accept.
Sounds impressive, and she initiated it.
So, wow.
The young gay guy was next to me. It will help him indirectly, he is not vocally out.
He asked me how I feel.
I feel like I stood up for all of us. And that a difference was made.
Now, I need to just relax.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 1:59:13 GMT 8
Not to throw any cold water on the topic of conversation, but both of my sons each of whom had fright wig hairdo's and dressed in a way that made themselves unemployable complained to me that such discrimination in employment is against the law. My learned response was yes it is, but they do it anyway and when they fire you it will be for a totally unrelated reason so that you cannot sue them. It happens every day to lots of nice and very capable worker bees! EDIT: Should have read the entire thread before posting. On another note, my Bro-in-law who manages a large nationwide company held an informational meeting for the company department heads in behalf of a transitioning employee complete with transgender legal resources, a few were obviously playing the bigot and he told them that he would be more than happy to accept their resignation on the spot if they continued to object. I was proud of him, but bottom line is that most companies prefer not to have to deal with unnecessary and costly litigation. That transitioner was later let go anyway due to a "department reorganization," my gut feeling that it was something else.Doesn't feel like that, and I don't intend to alter my current presentation. Which you have all seen plenty of times.
Some folks actually were like.. who? Really? Oblivous.
But the hate speech just got a stake through it.
I think I will be here a long time
Gotta go
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 3:21:30 GMT 8
Doesn't feel like that, and I don't intend to alter my current presentation. Which you have all seen plenty of times.
Some folks actually were like.. who? Really? Oblivous.
But the hate speech just got a stake through it.
I think I will be here a long time
Gotta go
Good going, I hope so too!
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Post by Ayla on Feb 14, 2015 5:03:14 GMT 8
TSJ
Glad that this has been addressed. You really have been dealing with a lot and it is great to see some real support from your employer
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by Cynthia13 on Feb 14, 2015 6:40:31 GMT 8
Trinity, Do you think it was intention or coincidence that she used Joe as an example?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2015 7:30:46 GMT 8
I missed that I was shaking so hard.
No, she doesn't do coincidence.
She looks like a dear in headlights. She said after her speech she went outside a minute and cried. It was obviously from the heart, she meant what she said.
If I keep sales up, and they seem ok with me there, then I have a job, just like anyone.
But the bullstuff that was going on is exposed and not cool. The guys there look a bit scared.
As to Joe, I don't have any idea what's up there. He won't look at me.
Stan now has a problem, and he is shut down.
Poor guy is symbolic of my past hurts so I transferred all the rage and fear of all the past hurts onto him. Not veryyfair of me, is it.
So, my coworkers, they were impressed with the boss.
She did great. Mess with me, you messed with her, and we both know nobody messes with her.
Wow. Didn't see this coming.
Joe must feel kinda chagrined.
It's ok, they have stuff, I have stuff.
But this is huge, not just for me, it was discussed at their board meeting first.
Those are the movers and shakers in Orlando. Fifteen power players in business,recommending this course of action.
It is the forum that allowed me to stand up for my gentle genderqueer presentation.
I had a diamond necklace on, feathered bracelet. Boots, mascara.
It felt good, it is me.
My boss stood up for what is right.
How cool is that?
Glory to God...Thank you dear friends.
I was rather freaked, if misrepresented it, tell me, post what you saw.
It had to feel good to you too.
Lol she kept calling me he and said I was ...a transgender... noun form.
Innocent use of the term.
She's reaching out, she's trying.
going Low profile now, and all pro. Nice and subtle.
What a difference that you were there, in person.
This is huge.
Trinity
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Post by bhhfmm on Feb 14, 2015 7:57:33 GMT 8
Glad it went well for you, Trinity.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Feb 14, 2015 8:36:45 GMT 8
The next week will be very telling. If this Joe and if Stan as you have been describing him, are reprimanded, then you most likely have won. In business, it comes down to the numbers. In some cases, just getting rid of the entire thing is a way to solve problems for business. Could be a lot of heads might roll, could go a number of ways. If they cause the numbers to fall, they go. it could be the way that the board wishes to pursue this as they did their best and it still comes down to the numbers. Deer in the headlight comment makes me wonder. Why did she look like that? Is she really affected by this or is her job on the line It could also be the board coming to the realization that discrimination at you won't stop this scenario from playing out again and again, and that hurts the numbers. Bigotry is losing in a big way in this country, in the world. Even news of discrimination against someone, regardless, is enough to hurt business. Less and less people will put up with being bullied by the bullies of their childhoods anymore, and are willing to take business elsewhere. Less and less business's are willing to take a stand against the groups that are more and more in the news. It isn't like bigotry is on solid footing, and it is getting worse for them all the time. Look at what all the bravado that the tea part has lost because of it. The tide is turning, you could be on the edge of that, you could be on the last of those to be taken down in the last dying gasps of bigotry as it is now seen as. You'll find out soon enough, just don't push it, let the dust settle from that one and watch for signs of it going one way or the other. Nationally, you are on the winning side, but there are very large areas that have deep pockets of money that are resisting it. Just keep your head about you, take no shit, but whatever you do, don't give anyone any shit as well. It is playing out like a soap drama. Hard to say what it true right now. It's still a skirmish in a much larger war. Either way, coworkers have a way to keep on, even if out of desperation for themselves, they might fabricate to take you out. Don't put yourself where they can, figuratively and even physically. Let it ride and stay aware.
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