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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2015 7:20:41 GMT 8
Congratulations. Be who you are. Many thanks. It's not Nonbinary peer pressure edge. It's letting everyone down I care about, and over a dysphoric lie to boot. And Taka thanks for the treehouse post, it's perfect and nails it too. Blessings my dears, and my loves. Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 0:19:53 GMT 8
The Fairy rests at the top of the path of transition, the one overlooking the cliff, on its edge. Far below are the jagged rocks of reality, across the deep canyon lies a vision in a mist, of a place of utopia, of heaven on earth. Transfixed by the vision, sh’e steps from the path, away from h’er guides, about to walk into thin air because of the seduction of the view sh’e sees from afar, a view truly of herself, one that does not see those who care around her.
Her passion tipped guilded wings are firey gold, and the gold of passion has lit the woods around her, as sh’e was blinded by their light. But the fairy has friends, and lovers in the forest, some hidden, some not, and they whisper in her ear. “Come back to the path, rest with us, be who you were born to be.”
A vision. One of sh’e, the true one, if sh’e can only embrace it. A beautiful blend, the DES end game of perfected nonbinarism, the vision is right there, just in front of h’er.
It dances on the path in front of h’er, beckons h’er to follow, it is a promise of love and life and laughter to come. A lightly bearded beauty, a person of two worlds, pulling strength from both, father and mother and child all within, flowing with the outpouring of h’er love.
Sh’e is ready, h’er wings have cooled, sh’e walks again among the shadow, the mother warrior, the elf, the eagle, and all the others that have carried h’er this far.
A tear of thanks is upon h’er cheeks, sooty will need to fix h’er mascara again.
Deep love from the fairy of our forest.
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Post by Taka on Jan 25, 2015 6:27:34 GMT 8
you are you no matter which shape you're in. what they call "transitioning" really isn't anything other than reshaping the body a little. does this also change the form of the soul, the person inside? i believe not. you will always be you.
the whole point of the lack of a binary, the whole reason i define myself non-binary, is that i don't believe in one final answer. sure, you may change the body until it can't be changed back. then you're kinda stuck. but in an ideal world, i could be whichever shape i want to be, at any time. non-binary is not, and should never be about, the shape of a person's body. it's only about being true to yourself.
being true to yourself will sometimes mean choosing the lesser evil, keep walking on that knife edge (it hurts), to not choose the easy way out when those it would hurt matter more. but your life is still the most important. do whatever it takes to stay alive. and after that, find your own way to happiness.
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Post by Laura J on Jan 25, 2015 6:36:51 GMT 8
the whole point of the lack of a binary, the whole reason i define myself non-binary, is that i don't believe in one final answer. sure, you may change the body until it can't be changed back. then you're kinda stuck. but in an ideal world, i could be whichever shape i want to be, at any time. non-binary is not, and should never be about, the shape of a person's body. it's only about being true to yourself. BINGO...! This is everything.. The way to be happy being us regardless of what is going on around us, or who is saying, doing or thinking whatever..
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Pronouns: He/His/Him
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Post by Metamorph on Jan 25, 2015 12:01:19 GMT 8
I am glad you are feeling stronger on your path
I wanted you to know that I respect you. it has nothing to do with your gender. you are caring, thoughtful, creative and interesting.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2015 19:04:31 GMT 8
I wanted that trinity presentation, buts not going to happen.
It really is the true me, but my wife can't handle that.
But my core is the same.
For several years I have walked the diamond tightrope.
It hurt more when I realized how beautiful Satinjoy is, when she is out.
Both the love and the hate of her by others also have an effect.
The outpouring of her emotions... She is quiet right no, Sj protects her, he always has, her and my family, and we have been through terrible things. Stalking, driven from our home and fleeing in the middle of the night from racists that don't like that my wife is not white, kids cracking up from the stalking, wife on bathroom floor screaming because of the predator a cross the street the cops couldn't touch.
Sj, and his protection and appearance, is needed by them.. I will think less of me if I throw in the towel. I made choices and swore an oath to my wife in marriage, killing Sj is just wrong.
Everyone here helps me walk that tightrope.
If I look down, into the pit of my dysphoria, I fall.
But I don't if I look up.
I am looking up.
And Satinjoy has her time, so does trinity in h'er way, at work now. Though my hair isn't right yet.
It's all good.
Help me stay on the diamond tightrope, dazzling in the sun.
Love to all of you.
Trinity Satin Joy
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Post by Ayla on Feb 1, 2015 9:21:37 GMT 8
I will be reading this many times dear friend Ativan, as well as others of yours, as I self examination and tweak.the path. I cannot sacrifice the essence of me. If I lost that, I lose all. Motives, visions, and maybe self destruction, setting it up. Thoughts turn to ruminating, which turns to pain. I will rest on this path, and look at the sunrise and sunset, and take my beloved with me, the woman I love, and Satinjoy too, I must look after her needs. At times it feels like agony, but the pain of loneliness, how much worse is that? Today a walk, football, prayer, aa tools, and rest. I believe in fires at midnight... Trinity The truth and insight in Ativan's post are profound. Seldom have I read a post which is so timely and so appropriate. It is a gift to each of us. Our journey is all about finding, accepting and expressing our truth. What I think about you 'giving in' is irrelevant. I only wish that you determine your truth and find what is best for you. Only you can make this decision and I respect and support you no matter what that decision is. safe travels aisla
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2015 11:44:13 GMT 8
I will be reading this many times dear friend Ativan, as well as others of yours, as I self examination and tweak.the path. I cannot sacrifice the essence of me. If I lost that, I lose all. Motives, visions, and maybe self destruction, setting it up. Thoughts turn to ruminating, which turns to pain. I will rest on this path, and look at the sunrise and sunset, and take my beloved with me, the woman I love, and Satinjoy too, I must look after her needs. At times it feels like agony, but the pain of loneliness, how much worse is that? Today a walk, football, prayer, aa tools, and rest. I believe in fires at midnight... Trinity The truth and insight in Ativan's post are profound. Seldom have I read a post which is so timely and so appropriate. It is a gift to each of us. Our journey is all about finding, accepting and expressing our truth. What I think about you 'giving in' is irrelevant. I only wish that you determine your truth and find what is best for you. Only you can make this decision and I respect and support you no matter what that decision is. safe travels aisla It was written before I dialed everything back. I have only one safe path to walk. Ativan is helping. I am watching sunrises. No full transition, no looking back. I am me, it is enough. And thanks. That thread was born at the height of me losing it again. It's time to learn how to stop the drama and get well.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2015 19:42:05 GMT 8
"I am me" seems to answer all of the questions you've been asking. You are you, I am me, we are one. I'll love you no matter which path you go and I'll try to provide lots of fried dough along the way :3.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2015 5:40:28 GMT 8
Trinity. Let me tell you something dear. I don't care who you are, who you wanna' be, who you can be, or who you may become. You are Trinity and you are a brother and or sister and I love you for that. If you throw in the towel then so be it. I will think no less of you. If you decide to go on, again I will think no less of you. You are you. Be who you need to be in order to be happy. You have my support no matter what. We all have to walk our own paths.
What do I think if you throw in the towel? I still love you like family and support any decision you make.
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