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Jan 15, 2015 22:14:01 GMT 8
Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2015 22:14:01 GMT 8
I wish I was a significant other. It will happen, there is always someone out there for everyone who will be a perfect fit. It usually happens when you least expect it and wham you're not consciously looking.
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Jan 15, 2015 22:17:53 GMT 8
Post by Ayla on Jan 15, 2015 22:17:53 GMT 8
Being present and authentic creates the possibility. Like does attract like. I agree - it will happen.
Safe travels
Aisla
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Jan 17, 2015 19:22:16 GMT 8
Post by Deleted on Jan 17, 2015 19:22:16 GMT 8
It will happen, there is always someone out there for everyone who will be a perfect fit. It usually happens when you least expect it and wham you're not consciously looking. Well, I'm never consciously looking. The idea is nice, but after several bad experiences I almost have PTSD over it. Plus, my devotions to my writing and my studies (non-academic) run deep. I'm not sure I could be emotionally obligated to a person. I can dream of the perfect "partner in crime", but the reality of it feels a bit far-fetched. All I can really do is remain open to possibility. Maybe one day the planets will align, but breathing seems like a better option than holding it for a miracle.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2015 6:29:59 GMT 8
I wish I was a significant other. When you are least expecting it, love will punch you in the boobs and bring you to your knees. No pun intended. OK maybe just a little pun. Well I am the best half and have a "significant" other but I will never let him know that right now. Maybe later....Nah. Let him work for it. Diamonds, gold, something from the deepest levels of his heart in the way of poetry and since he writes songs, as song would work. OK so I got a diamond necklace but no ring. Even though he is so transparent and I'm not. He want's to vacation in Boston but I tell him no. I can't right now and maybe never. About being a significant other, sometimes unless it is the right person for you, you may be or be made to feel really insignificant. Wait for that special person. It will be worth the wait. And the more aloof you are and they stay with you, the more they are worth it and think you are worth it. Never rush in. Tread lightly. I would rahter have someone love me and put me on a pedestal than someone that says they love me but treats me like shit.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2015 9:03:10 GMT 8
I get the feeling that I'm walking through a wrecking yard here, real lasting relationships are built on a 60/40 compromise where each person isn't the totally needy center of the universe but is willing and desirous to provide 60% of the effort and only expect 40% in return. When both parties are plugged into that kind of attitude it's going to be a win/win relationship. It has a lot of bearing on how I am still married after 45 years and having PTSD and Trans issues because we work at it, it's not just about having a fuck buddy.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2015 9:53:05 GMT 8
We always went hundred give from both of us. Works for me and wife.
No expectations, no disappointments, lots of giving.
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Curious
Jan 21, 2015 10:09:50 GMT 8
Post by Laura J on Jan 21, 2015 10:09:50 GMT 8
I read something I liked a long time ago.. A marriage/relationship is like a bank account. Every kind thing you say, do, and way you express your love and understanding is like a deposit into that bank.. You build up savings, you keep depositing everyday, then when you have trouble, and need it most, you can make a withdraw of his/her love and understanding from that same bank.. I guess the moral is that you have to keep giving and putting into a relationship, in order to ever get something out of it..
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Jan 21, 2015 10:46:24 GMT 8
Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2015 10:46:24 GMT 8
I get the feeling that I'm walking through a wrecking yard here, real lasting relationships are built on a 60/40 compromise where each person isn't the totally needy center of the universe but is willing and desirous to provide 60% of the effort and only expect 40% in return. When both parties are plugged into that kind of attitude it's going to be a win/win relationship. It has a lot of bearing on how I am still married after 45 years and having PTSD and Trans issues because we work at it, it's not just about having a fuck buddy. Good for you Shan, sex has almost nothing to do withholding it for me. Being cherished, and something close to equal load sharing does. Strange to say, it isn't that easy to find. Reducing relationships to just sexual gratification trivializes, the challenges and you know me better than that. Lol Piss me off is one way to get me off the pity pot. Hahaha gotcha buddy girl, glad you responded like that!
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2015 10:51:39 GMT 8
Well, I'm never consciously looking. The idea is nice, but after several bad experiences I almost have PTSD over it. Plus, my devotions to my writing and my studies (non-academic) run deep. I'm not sure I could be emotionally obligated to a person. I can dream of the perfect "partner in crime", but the reality of it feels a bit far-fetched. All I can really do is remain open to possibility. Maybe one day the planets will align, but breathing seems like a better option than holding it for a miracle. I'm not sure that perfect relationships exist. I've certainly never found one. In fact I've never found honesty over any considerable length of time. JR loves me and I him, but I have few expectations and even less hope. Which seems off and selfish to me because he would have me always, but he has needs, both physical and material, that I am not sure I want to always fill. I'll breathe too I think - but sometimes when the moon is full I cannot help but hope that someday, someone will appear and watch over me. I don't need coddling or a lot of financial support, but just to know that I am valued and cared for beyond all else in life, it is a dream that I sometimes despair of finding. God I do dream of being held when I am afraid, and not needing to be strong. I seem to be afraid a lot today, and I keep finding my cheeks wet. I wonder why there is sadness? Why there are tears? Why do I feel alone? It will pass ... I have things to do. Jamie, I need to suck up some of your attitude and that's no joke. Really Julie? The perfect relationship does exist. You have o be open to it. You never know hon. Sometimes love bitchslaps you into oblivion. Sometimes it is something built up over time. But when you least expect it, it will be there. You my dear have a lot to offer. Beauty, an adventurous spirit, a good job, (especially for a struggling musician even wit trucks that are tax write offs) an airstream that is moveable. But does that Airstream have an hour of hot water? Government job? I am anti government. Maybe even anti establishmentarianism. Politics I can't stand. I would rather talk about other things, maybe b\even things that make others blush but make me flush. OMG I teally need to shut up. So I will...
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2015 7:57:59 GMT 8
Jamie - Kisses - Hot Water is gas and infinite or at least until the holding tank is full, or the water tank empty, or the propane runs out. As to the perfect relationship - I'll continue to believe and to breathe. Actually I have a couple of years of work to do on myself before I'm really interested in being open to such a thing. For now shallow and hot works. That is something that will always be out of your reach hon. No one is perfect and we can never achieve perfection. You don't need to work on yourself. Sometimes things are meant to be and other times they aren't. Look at how many wives support their spouses no matter what. Look how many of us lost our spouses that couldn't support us. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us or our spouses that decided they couldn't love us no matter what. Just luck of the draw. Some are lucky and others are lucky too because they or we don't have to live with the BS anymore. OK so none of my business but what kind of work do you think you need to do on yourself? Maybe it's not you. And dear let me tell you something. Fate don't wait. If you got something just revel in it and nurture it. If that is meant to be then it will be, if not then it will fall apart. Shallow and hot always works for the short run. Deep and hot is better for the long run.
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Feb 11, 2015 5:19:06 GMT 8
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Post by Taka on Feb 11, 2015 5:19:06 GMT 8
when i least expect it... my heart will be broken. that's how love works for me. can't help falling, and when i realize it's happened, i already know it was never meant to be.
doesn't matter much though. the right person exists, i just haven't figured out who it is yet. there's still a chance for as long as i'm alive.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2015 5:46:51 GMT 8
when i least expect it... my heart will be broken. that's how love works for me. can't help falling, and when i realize it's happened, i already know it was never meant to be. doesn't matter much though. the right person exists, i just haven't figured out who it is yet. there's still a chance for as long as i'm alive. I'm sorry honey, but gee you knew I was already spoken for! Just kidding Taka, there will be someone you will be compatible with, I really believe we all have that someone special that will turn up eventually.
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Feb 11, 2015 6:56:22 GMT 8
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2015 6:56:22 GMT 8
when i least expect it... my heart will be broken. that's how love works for me. can't help falling, and when i realize it's happened, i already know it was never meant to be. doesn't matter much though. the right person exists, i just haven't figured out who it is yet. there's still a chance for as long as i'm alive. You have so much heart and love and that fierce nature... yes, you will find your mate. ....flutters off quietly, with a touch of sad for h'er friend....
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2015 8:11:52 GMT 8
when i least expect it... my heart will be broken. that's how love works for me. can't help falling, and when i realize it's happened, i already know it was never meant to be. doesn't matter much though. the right person exists, i just haven't figured out who it is yet. there's still a chance for as long as i'm alive. Really Taka? Do you always expect a heartache? Love works in mysterious ways. We can hijack it and cause our own heart breaks. I raise my hand on this one because my one true love I screwed up. He would have loved me and stated he loved me no matter what. Me, HRT or SRS and he even offered to pay for it. Yeah he was well off. I was a stupid bitch and couldn't see what was in front of me. But he was 15 years my senior and at that age I was a genius and smarter than my own good back then. Stars in my eyes ya' know.
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